I read on heraldextra.com the news that Gov. Gary Herbert has named BYU professor Lance Larsen as the state's fourth poet laureate. Why the State of Utah needs an official poet, I don't know, but it all sounds very cultured.
I've actually been looking for a reason to extend my pinkie finger while drinking the official Utah state beverage, Diet Coke. Now I can drink and extend my pinkie while reading state-sponsored poetry — that is, if I could find any. The state poet laureate is, unfortunately, not much in the public eye. But he ought to be. I'd suggest having poetry billboards along I-15 every few miles to alleviate the pain of driving.
Next time around, I would like to be considered by Gov. Herbert for state poet laureate. I wouldn't save Utah any money because the position is unpaid, but I could add some culture while saving time. The following poem, for example, while it might have the appearance of sucking up to the governor, could be worth millions someday even though it took less than five minutes to compose:
There once was a guv'ner from Orem / Who Democrats said really bored 'em / His challengers shoved him, but delegates loved him / Which means that he'll keep his high station.