Dubbs wrote:
Life Rocks wrote:
Let me say, I certainly appreciate all the comments made here...pro or con...whether you agree with me or not...you took some time out of your valuable lives to respond.

I'm really going to take to heart the suggestions you've made here. I think I got out of this what I came for.

I don't have the same belief about the Church as I did. I guess it's because I see all of us as human beings first, as children of God then after that whatever religion you want to subscribe to.
I find religious belief as a source of problems in the world when we have so much more in common as human beings.

The ritual exists for the people. Without the people all religious organizations cease to exist. We create ritual to add meaning to our lives. I find fault with the Church for having this kind of practice at all. It seems so scathingly cruel.

I have a tough time imagining someone you respect called "God the Father" allowing such an event to take place wouldn't include everyone. It's a family event.

The thought occurs to me...Have any of you actually been to a non LDS wedding? Perhaps I shouldn't assume anything here.

And worse yet, the members have become so accustomed to not challenging anything the Church leaders teach, they willing accept it.

I support an organization where we go to Mexico regularly to build homes for the homeless. (you want a wildly amazing life changing experience check out www.corazon.org--crazy fun!)I took all of my children many times so they could see what service looked like and actually participate in it.

I had a belief about what marriage is and had some expectations about how things would be. When I left the Church, I hadn't thought about what was coming down the pike. I've never been to another LDS wedding ceremony other than my own.

I was told as the father of my home that I held some important place. I saw all of these people who had been my friends, including my wife and children leave me behind. I've never felt so much rejection in my life. I wonder how you feel about going to a wedding ceremony that a parent has been excluded from going to?

When you pass the mother on your way into the temple, how do you feel about that?

I guess "if God has set certain tasks to achieve exaltation" and it brings up this kind of conflict where you have to choose between a religious ceremony and your loved ones who have done nothing wrong...I'd be wondering if what I was doing really was "a task to achieve exaltation." My opinion.

Some have asked if I had talked to my daughters about this. I was disappointed with my wife and my kids too. My whole life I've always put them first. Because I had a really lousy home life, I went to great lengths to do much more. I rearranged my life to be an attentive, available, involved dad. What this experience tells me is that no matter what you say or do for your wife or kids matters. There's nothing in my life or world that I value that I would have picked my over my kids (LDS Church included).

I'm wondering what all of you will do if and when the Church decides on some new doctrine that you find as difficult to live as polygamy was for the early Saints?

As for ring ceremonies or second services...they sort of did something like that. Sure made me feel special. makes me wonder who made up the "one year waiting rule"?

There's no question, sometimes in life you make some choices and there are a lot of "unintended consequences" that follow that you can't see at the time you make the original choice. I made some choices in my life early on about believing the "brethren" that I'm paying a price for.

All of your lives matter.
It'll be over before we know it.
Make the most of the time you have here on this planet.
Honour your parents.
Make a difference.
Do something great and wonderful with your lives.

Thanks again for your comments.

Again, after numerous people have asked, not sure why your avoiding it, have you asked your kids about their decision? Where's your wife at with the church and your decision?

I just don't think we are getting the WHOLE story here, I've known kids to do ring ceremony's, a seperate wedding for non members, your kids did nothing, why is that?

Try actually reading his comment and you'll find that he DID discuss it with his family.

And that his wife and children continue on in the Church. And that his wife attended the Temple Ceremony.

As far as your anecdote about knowing kids who did ring ceremonies and separate weddings for non-members...if this is true...then they were in direct violation of LDS Church policy.

Dubbs wrote:
Betz wrote:
Dubbs wrote:
Betz wrote:
Dubbs wrote:
Girl Raised in the South wrote:
[Jaye, your posts are usually very thoughtful. However, you said something that bothers me, and please correct me if I misinterpreted your words. So, you believe in scripture/doctrine if it appeals to you, and then disregard the rest without thought about being accountable for that disregard? Are you a member of the church in good standing? '


Don't try to figure out Jaye, His beliefs are so full of contradiction it's impossible. He says he believes in the BofM, but then says things were inserted by Joseph for his own purposes, He claims to not believe in all of the D&C, yet follows the word of wisdom, except he drinks actual alchoholic wine for his sacrament, I could go on, but he's one of the fanatical outliers every church has.

Would you keep on the subject instead of attacking Jaye.

Oh, and speaking of the subject, where is the proof I asked you for on your claims about the Buddhist, Sihk, Jewish, and Hindu weddings?

Just from friends I've talked to over the years.

There you go . . . more lies.

Missionaries go all over the world, so it makes sense I'd have friends who have taught those faiths before, and know their beliefs. But believe what you like, makes no difference to me.

What occurs in these faiths in other countries has very little to do with what occurs in these faiths within this country.

I have mentioned my friend the Rabbi from time to time. I have a number of close friends within the Jewish community.

I have attended a number of weddings at various synagogues. The only requirement is that I don a Kippot...or skullcap before entering the synagogue for the ceremony.

I have also entered a local mosque while working on their parking lot.

The only real restriction regarding these mosques is that one removes his shoes...and that polytheists may not enter, because idolaters are unclean and forbidden by Allah to enter into the sacred mosque.

In certain Mosques...women are not permitted to enter, and worship at home.

And in fact...Jews and Christians have been permitted to enter into American mosques, as the Muslims claim to preach religious tolerance between those who believe in One God.

They have entered to give speeches during special festivals...and are allowed to witness worship.

Here is some information about the various wedding customs of various religious denominations.


Religion, Tradition, and the Wedding Guest

By Nina Callaway, About.com
See More About:

* wedding guest advice
* religious weddings
* christian weddings

Sponsored Links

If you�re worried about attending a ceremony in a different religion or culture than your own, don�t worry. You will most likely not being the only �outsider� there, and the primary thing the bride and broom will care about is your presence. These days, a religious wedding ceremony is generally open for those of other faiths to attend, and you can participate in as much or as little as you choose. Religious leaders are accustomed to the fact that there will be people of many faiths attending; thus they generally tend to explain what is happening, and what the congregation is expected to do. If you�re worried that your own religion won�t approve of you attending another worship service, speak with your religious leader. In the event it�s not appropriate for you, you can probably skip the ceremony and attend only the reception.

Here�s a quick rundown of things guests might encounter at a religious wedding:

Catholic: Most weddings include communion, which is offered only to those who have received their First Holy Communion in the Catholic Church. If you aren�t Catholic, stand so that any Catholics in your row may pass, then sit back down and wait quietly.

Jewish: The wedding service is often in Hebrew, but if you don�t understand the language, try to enjoy the spirit, music, and company around you. Men, no matter what their faith, are generally expected to wear skull caps or yarmulkes inside the synagogue. You�ll most likely find them being given out just outside of the doors.

Muslim: Most Muslims do not have a public ceremony, only a public reception.

Mormon: Most Mormon wedding ceremonies are restricted to only practicing Mormons. Don�t be offended if you aren�t invited to the ceremony.


To add to your comfort level, why not ask the bride and groom to give you a brief outline of what to expect on the day of the wedding. Or, you can read these links for general overviews.

Jewish

Muslim

Protestant

Catholic

Guide to Indian Weddings of many faiths, including Gujarati, Tamil, Muslim, Bengali, Sikh, Jain, and Rajput(scroll down to bottom to choose links.)

Chinese Wedding Traditions

FAQs for guests attending a Chinese Wedding


Be sure to check out the about.com Wedding Traditions site for more about traditions.
Related Articles

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* Should You Attend A Religious Wedding If Invited? Atheism and Religious Cer...
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Nina Callaway
Guide since 2003

Nina Callaway
Weddings Guide

Dubbs wrote:
utocoman wrote:
Dubbs wrote:
utocoman wrote:
Dubbs wrote:
utocoman wrote:
Dubbs wrote:
Oh, podjo, that's proof of nothing. That makes no more sense then saying Hinduism and Mormonism are similar because the hold their meetings in buildings.


Dubbs they are very similiar!! In fact they both look forward to plural marriage whether after they die or in secret/sacred while on earth. Correct good buddy?

Yea, big whoop really, many religions have one or two similarities, means nothing really.

Come on man. Plural marriage is one of the main precepts to both "religions". Face facts.

Not at all, you believe it's a main precept and you "claim" to be ex LDS? Once again you show you really never studied the faith while in the church, but have read more anti nonsense than anything.


The church had 5-10% of it's members ever practice polygamy, and today only those who have a spouse die are sealed to another spouse if they choose, hardly a "main precept" bro, your delusional.

Are you then decrying plural marriage in the afterlife for both "religions" or purposely trying to ignore the truth again?

No, it's an eternal principle that will happen to some LDS in the afterlife, not all. A very small percentage. In fact I know of noone in my family that has two wives. Your comparison to Hinduism is not legit because they feel they will recieve 40 virgins if I'm not mistaken as a reward in heaven, for the LDS faith it holds a different meaning.

You sure you were LDS?

You ARE mistaken. It is the Muslims who believe that the faithful will be given a number of virgins in Paradise.

I understand his feelings. there is a certain amount of "emotional extortion" that goes on in the LDS Church, and my family experiences this every so often. When a church member who finds out that I'm not a member starts to tell my mother how see needs to get me to join the LDS Church so that we can all be together in the next life. I feel this shows a great deal of insensitivity to her feelings as a mother. My mother knows that I respect her choice to be a LDS member but it's a subject I won't get in to a discussion about with her, because I feel that my choice also deserves to be respected. But sometimes my wife will talk to her about it out of kindness. Which usually leads to my wife getting upset because she truly loves my mother and also because my mother wants to talk about somethings, my wife feels really aren't any of her business. Anyway it's probably clear that this has raised it head again recently. I'm not sure there's a solution to this type of problem in families because of the nature of some of the LDS beliefs. Anyway there's my two cents.

Sir John the Apostate wrote:
I understand his feelings. there is a certain amount of "emotional extortion" that goes on in the LDS Church, and my family experiences this every so often. When a church member who finds out that I'm not a member starts to tell my mother how see needs to get me to join the LDS Church so that we can all be together in the next life. I feel this shows a great deal of insensitivity to her feelings as a mother. My mother knows that I respect her choice to be a LDS member but it's a subject I won't get in to a discussion about with her, because I feel that my choice also deserves to be respected. But sometimes my wife will talk to her about it out of kindness. Which usually leads to my wife getting upset because she truly loves my mother and also because my mother wants to talk about somethings, my wife feels really aren't any of her business. Anyway it's probably clear that this has raised it head again recently. I'm not sure there's a solution to this type of problem in families because of the nature of some of the LDS beliefs. Anyway there's my two cents.

I would think that those discussions come up with most, regardless of being LDS or inactive, or any religion for that matter, unless I misunderstood your point.

JLD wrote:
Sir John the Apostate wrote:
I understand his feelings. there is a certain amount of "emotional extortion" that goes on in the LDS Church, and my family experiences this every so often. When a church member who finds out that I'm not a member starts to tell my mother how see needs to get me to join the LDS Church so that we can all be together in the next life. I feel this shows a great deal of insensitivity to her feelings as a mother. My mother knows that I respect her choice to be a LDS member but it's a subject I won't get in to a discussion about with her, because I feel that my choice also deserves to be respected. But sometimes my wife will talk to her about it out of kindness. Which usually leads to my wife getting upset because she truly loves my mother and also because my mother wants to talk about somethings, my wife feels really aren't any of her business. Anyway it's probably clear that this has raised it head again recently. I'm not sure there's a solution to this type of problem in families because of the nature of some of the LDS beliefs. Anyway there's my two cents.

I would think that those discussions come up with most, regardless of being LDS or inactive, or any religion for that matter, unless I misunderstood your point.

How many religions teach that they need to convert other family members so they can be together in the next life? How many other religions teach that non member relatives will be consigned to a "lower Kingdom" and that they won't be permitted contact with them?