Re:VATICAN KEEPS PARISH RECORDS FROM MORMONS (1 viewing) (1) Guests
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TOPIC: Re:VATICAN KEEPS PARISH RECORDS FROM MORMONS
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Re:VATICAN KEEPS PARISH RECORDS FROM MORMONS 6 Months, 3 Weeks ago
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Karma: -107
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Heir Flick of the Gestapo wrote:
The scene:
John is gabbing with God in heaven.
God: So do you like the fluffiness of the clouds?
John: I think the viscosity could be altered to make an even softer texture. We just need to...
An ethereal phone rings...
John: Excuse me for a second... Hello?
Voice on phone: Yes, is this John Smith?
John: Yes... Who's this?
Voice on Phone: This is Lehi Nephi Hyrum, I'm calling on behalf of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, with an offer that will allow you to upgrade your stay in heaven to platinum...
John: Hey pal, I'm on the do-not-call list.
Voice on Phone: Oh, I'm sorry, that expired when you did. Anyway for the low low price of 10%.
John: Click. Pesky Telemarketers. God, this is heaven for crying out loud, can't you do something?
God: What do you think I am, all powerful or something? I get bothered like 10 billion times a day by people wanting this, that or the other. Suck it up man!
Phone rings again.
John: Yes...
Voice on phone: This is the Vatican calling for John Smith. For the low introductory price of just three hail-Marys.
John: Whatever... Sign me up. Just leave me alone already! Click.
God: Now you've done it.
John: What?
Phone rings again.
John: This better be good!
Voice on phone: Sir, we just noticed that you switched carriers and we want you back... If you sign back up with us, we will ensure that you are part of the elite group of 144,000 that will sit in the inner circle...
John: Click. I'm in H*ll!
"LOL"
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Jaye (User)
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 12994
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Re:VATICAN KEEPS PARISH RECORDS FROM MORMONS 6 Months, 3 Weeks ago
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Karma: 5
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Patrick Starfish wrote:WHY DO MORMONS BAPTISE DEAD PEOPLE? WHO GIVES THEM PERMISSION TO DIG UP THE DEAD? THIS JUST SOUNDS MORBID AND CREEPY TO ME. I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY CATHOLICS WOULD NOT TELL MORMONS WHERE THEY HAVE BURIED THEIR DEAD.Oy vey....another comedian. 
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Resident husband of a white witch and lover of witches in general.
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Jaye (User)
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Posts: 12994
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Re:VATICAN KEEPS PARISH RECORDS FROM MORMONS 6 Months, 3 Weeks ago
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Karma: 5
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mykidsgramma wrote:cute pic, JR, thank you 
As a convert to the Church some 45 years ago, I can tell you that I have talked to people that did indeed think we dug up our dead to baptise them! Members of my fathers family actullay refused to share info with us for that reason and many of them ceased relationships with us because we joined that church. I'm happy to say they all came around after seeing we didn't grow horns or dig up graves or whatever else they thought was going to happen and we were all a big, happy family again.When I was on my mission...we actually had an elderly couple who asked to feel the top of our heads before they would allow us into their home...to see if it were true that Mormons had horns.
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Resident husband of a white witch and lover of witches in general.
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The administrator has disabled public write access. |
Jaye (User)
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 12994
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Re:VATICAN KEEPS PARISH RECORDS FROM MORMONS 6 Months, 3 Weeks ago
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Karma: 5
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Patrick Starfish wrote:I HAVE READ IT AND SOME SAY YOU DIG UP THE DEAD AND BAPTISE THEM AND OTHERS SAY THAT YOU DON'T. ARE THERE TWO MORMON CHURCHES? JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION AND YOU DON'T NEED TO BE SO RUDE.Alright. I'll play along with you P.S. No. Mormons do not dig up dead bodies and baptize them. Mormons perform baptism with living proxies for the dead.  Any other questions?
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Resident husband of a white witch and lover of witches in general.
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The administrator has disabled public write access. |
Jaye (User)
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Posts: 12994
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Re:VATICAN KEEPS PARISH RECORDS FROM MORMONS 6 Months, 3 Weeks ago
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Karma: 5
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Patrick Starfish wrote:
I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A FORUM BEFORE WHERE THERE ARE SO MANY RUDE PEOPLE. I AM NOT GOOFING OFF! IS THIS THE WAY YOU PEOPLE TREAT ALL NEW COMMERS? TO THE OTHER RUDE PERSON, SOMEONE SAID "I remember the good old day when the youth would go and, do baptisms for the dead. They would first send us Boy Scouts up to the cemetery to dig up some heathen remains. We would load them in the back of pick ups to take them to the Temple, for a good dunking. What are the youth supposed to do with themselves now a days? No wonder they're joining gangs and, getting strung out on drugs!" I DON'T KNOW IF HE IS MORMON OR NOT. IS THERE A SECRET SIGN THAT SOMEONE MUST HAVE NEXT TO THEIR NAME TO SHOW IF THEY ARE MORMONS OR NOT? HE TALKS ABOUT DIGGING UP THE DEAD! WHAT AM I TO THINK? SO DO YOU OR DON'T YOU?
Perhaps you took Sir John's comment literally...when it was intended to be a joke.
Just as some have taken YOUR comments too literally...when it is pretty obvious that you are making tongue in cheek remarks.
At least I hope that's the case...otherwise...you are the kind of individual who has no sense of humor, and you take everything absolutely literally.
In which case, and sadly so...you are not going to enjoy your time on this forum.
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Resident husband of a white witch and lover of witches in general.
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The administrator has disabled public write access. |
Jaye (User)
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 12994
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Re:VATICAN KEEPS PARISH RECORDS FROM MORMONS 6 Months, 3 Weeks ago
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Karma: 5
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Dubbs wrote:Wren wrote:
Dubbs just comes back in various disguises, but he is always the same troll.
Funny, I was think the same about you, lets see.
Wren is
Wren.. the nutty professor with no logic and a robitic creature that can't think for himself, a Non LDS person who claims to have never been LDS, but obviously has
He's also
Jaye... His alter ego that can agree with his nutty views from an LDS perseptive
and
Tigerlily... Just another nutty invention in the mind or Wren
And
Spongebob... His invention similar to tigerlily, he's running out of material.  I am not Wren...and Wren is not me. I could list your numerous alter ego's, which most people on this forum have figured out easily enough Sybil...but the list is long, and my time is limited.
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Resident husband of a white witch and lover of witches in general.
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The administrator has disabled public write access. |
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