To disagree, to dislike, to hate?

Rex M. Rogers

A new trend in American culture is that people are quick to transpose "to disagree" into "to dislike" or even "to hate." In other words, if you disagree with someone else, however respectfully, you'll find yourself accused of disliking or hating the other person. No amount of protestation seems to alter people's assessment. I know because it's happened to me.

Look at Washington, D.C., where Red State disagrees with Blue State on a daily basis. Some of these Republicans and Democrats like one another and some are even known to socialize across the aisle occasionally. But long-timers will tell you it's not like it used to be.

President Ronald Reagan and Speaker of the House Tip O'Neill used to battle all day during their time in the sun. Then in the evening they'd get together for drinks, tell Irish jokes, and enjoy one another's company.

While President George W. Bush and Speaker Nancy Pelosi are publicly respectful, it's not likely anytime soon we'll see them gathering for a barbecue. Make that double for Senate Majority leader Harry Reid.

It seems that America's all-tolerant culture assumes you don't like, indeed cannot like, those with whom you disagree. It's become more a matter of person or group than issues.

For example, if I say I disagree with people who choose alternative lifestyles it does not mean I'm a gay-basher. If I say I don't support abortion rights, it certainly doesn't follow that I hate or even dislike women who've had an abortion. If I don't agree with the merits of your idea,

I don't agree with your idea. It doesn't have to be a matter of your character or mine.

Turning disagreement into dislike or hate is an unhealthy trend making debate more divisive and consensus more remote. Respect and decency are the foundations that make a vigorous democracy possible.

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Rex M. Rogers, Ph.D. in political science from the University of Cincinnati, is a syndicated newspaper columnist in 92 newspapers in 31 states, and is president of Cornerstone University, Grand Rapids, Mich. (www.rexmrogers.com)