Before we get to the TV doings this week, let's take a moment for a little mocking, because there's always time for mocking?

War? Elections? Recession? Global warming?

Please. Let's get to the important stuff.

Were the kids born or not, and is there going to be a reality show?

In case you missed this crucial story, "ET" reported a birth after getting "confirmation" via BlackBerry from Jolie's assistant.

Or someone -- pretending to be her assistant. Jolie's people -- and you know she's got truckloads of people -- say it was an imposter, and the twins are still safely, uh, tucked away.

See that? See how technology gets you in trouble?

Now put down the BlackBerry and drive.

Last week, Jolie's lawyers sent out a warning to media organizations saying someone was intentionally scheming to harm their client and they'd better stop it.

Harm?

I mean, really, who cares? Well, it turns out all those magazines and shows -- including "ET" -- who are bidding piles of money to be the first to show the newborn twins.

And, of course, Jolie and Brad Pitt, who never, ever show up in public or make media appearances.

"ET" had been sticking by its story as if this was CBS News with the Pentagon Papers. (If you don't know that reference, we need to talk.)

Then it started mumbling, well, yeah, you know, kinda wrong.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world can relax, knowing that not a single celebrity baby will be born without us knowing about it, possibly days beforehand.

Rick Kushman

McClatchy Newspapers