The kitchen floor needed to be mopped and I was so afraid that if I didn't do it right away in the morning, it would never get done.¬ I was supposed to meet someone for lunch at the Olive Garden in Provo at 1:15 and I had some company in the morning that didn't leave until 12:30.¬ 

I had been feeling like I needed to take a little time off to catch up after a fabulous string of family events:¬  my daughter-in-law smashed her kneecap (two weeks babysitting in LA); my ex-husband's father died and their family very kindly asked me to come to Denver for the funeral (I love my ex-in-laws and especially my ex-father-in-law); then our grandson in California graduated from high school so we went there the day after I got home from Denver.¬ 

I was so tired of traveling and emotional situations. But I was equally glad to be home and eat my own food and clean my own kitchen floors. I really was not in the mood to be prompted to sit down and relax and do something stupid. But I kept feeling like I should.¬ Just take a day and watch all the things I'd Tivo-ed over the last six months and never watched.¬ Take a nap.¬ Read the Sunday paper even though it's Wednesday.¬ 

But nooooo, I just couldn't let go long enough to do those things.

It all started because I let myself feel guilty about going to the movies by myself during the day.¬ I also finished all seven seasons of The Gilmore Girls which my neighbor Laurie Bradford lent me which had imprisoned me for eight weeks while I force fed them to see what happened next. I had also decided I just couldn't deal with one more minute of those stupid Twilight novels where the girl falls in love with the vampire.¬ I don't care if they are written by "an active Mormon housewife," they're weird.¬ 

So basically I had come to this impasse where I decided there would be no more junk food for me, intellectually speaking.¬ From now on it was going to be non-fiction or those important literary fiction kinds of things like "The Gathering," which I bought but can't read because the cover is too depressing.¬ 

I was never going to waste time ever again.¬ Life is too important to be relaxing and goofing off.¬ 

So, as a result, I pulled a bunch of tendons and ligaments in my shoulders and wound up going to the doctor and having to wear a sling for what he says will be five to six weeks.¬ I can't pick up anything heavier than a spoon--and, okay, maybe I can wiggle out the ice cream carton s-l-o-w-l-y.¬ 

(If you're a fat girl, or boy, really, you know how important these summer months are with the gardening and sunlight and outside to give you extra energy to burn off those Christmas calories and get you through the fall months when all you can think of is baking cinnamon rolls and snuggling up with a good book. I count on being able to do a bunch of stuff during the summer to keep me out of the quadruple digits in clothing.¬ You know, the XXXL flannel shirts and overalls at Sportsman's Wearhouse.)¬ 

With no junk food for my mind, I began to be more responsible about things. I started washing all the mattress covers and scrubbing spots on the floor.¬ I glued back the living room table that had been broken for ten years.¬ I just went crazy, in other words.¬ 

I have now decided that perhaps it's too expensive to never relax.¬ There's nothing for me to do but slow down: I can't lift my elbows more than six inches away from my sides. I'm a tragic reminder of someone who couldn't stop to smell the roses.¬ 

I feel like those people in the Bible who want Lazarus to go back and tell their families to be nicer.¬ 

So I'm telling you, stop before you have to wear a sling around your neck all day and you can only wear pull up pants because you can't button buttons.¬ And you can't put on deodorant because you can't lift your arms.¬ Ugh.