Jerry Seinfeld took the stage Friday night at Abravanel Hall and yada, yada, yada, by the time he was finished, nearly everyone was laughing hysterically.

While I suppose that capsule evaluation would be a fitting homage to Seinfeld -- the man and the former hit TV show of the same name -- it would certainly not do justice to the level of laughter the comedian unleashed on a suspecting audience Friday. Wearing a dark suit and tie -- (That his mother laid out for him, perhaps?) -- Seinfeld cracked wise for 75 minutes during the first of two shows on the evening.

Seinfeld started off by having a little fun at Salt Lake City's expense.

"How do you take the excitement of living here all the time?" Seinfeld asked the capacity crowd. "You've got the salt. You've got the lake. Most people are happy with the shaker, but you've got to have the whole lake."

Much like the supposed plots of his TV show, Seinfeld's observations were often about nothing. His strongest jokes tended to lampoon absurdities in everyday life.

Such as the popularity of the online garage sale that is eBay.

"Hey, let's mail our garbage back and forth to each other!"

And those people who walk around with their Blackberries, constantly checking for e-mail updates in annoying fashion.

"To me," Seinfeld said, "the Blackberry is like a creepy mailman who keeps bringing you mail all day long. You keep putting the flag down and he keeps putting it up."

And how in the world telephone company executives could have devised a way for people to be reconnected with someone who may have called and hung up on them -- and accomplishing this task by dialing "star," ahem, "69" ... you know, instead of, say, "star 68" or "star 70."

"Can someone please explain to me how that slipped by an entire corporation?" Seinfeld asked incredulously. "Did none of these people go to junior high?"

Commercials for Cialis, an erectile dysfunction drug, also came under the Seinfeld microscope. Specifically, the television ad featuring two elderly adults giving each other the romantic eye while sitting in separate bathtubs in a rustic outdoor setting.

"OK, so you're having a little trouble with the sexual intimacy," Seinfeld said. "Get in ONE .... tub! And who here has two tubs with no apparent signs of plumbing?"

Seinfeld seemed completely at ease during his performance -- at times standing still, at times prowling the stage making comical facial expressions or physical gestures to accentuate his running monologues. It was like watching one of those old opening segments to his TV show -- except a lot longer and funnier.

Naturally, he also touched on current events and politics.

"My favorite suicide bomber is the one who blows himself up accidentally without injuring anybody else -- kind of a 'Jihad E. Coyote.' "

The quirky, almost forced-looking smile of Republican presidential candidate John McCain also earned derision.

"I'm a little worried about John McCain's smile. He looks like me when I have something in my teeth," Seinfeld said, pulling up his upper lip and squinting as if he were looking at his teeth in a mirror. "Just because you show teeth doesn't mean you're happy."

In the end, Seinfeld turned to potty humor with an encore bit wondering why bathroom stalls don't go all the way to the floor and why there are always viewing cracks where the door connects to the stall. I can't tell you more of what he said because I was laughing too hard to successfully take notes.

After seeing his standup routine in person, I can say that Jerry Seinfeld's humor is both real -- and spectacular. And you can't yada, yada, yada that.