Water bored-ing: My quadriceps ache today, which probably doesn't bother you because they are not your quadriceps. But the manner in which they came to ache may interest you, especially if you live in the vicinity of a 3-year-old boy with access (with or without permission) to a garden hose.

There is no immediate cause for alarm, unless you live in a home that has a partially buried lower level with a concrete stairway leading downward to the back door. This stairway may have a drain at the bottom of it, below the level of the doorway, but that doesn't matter because the drain is probably clogged with at least several months of grass clippings, Popsicle wrappers and dirt. The stopped drain has likely never caught your attention because the stairway is covered and not susceptible to rain collection.

Among the other things you may not have noticed is the latest scolding the neighbor boy is possibly receiving at the hands of his mother, outside your basement window. And you probably also haven't noticed the water seeping in around the door and into your kitchen, or whichever room adjoins the rear staircase.

If you hear the neighbor boy's older brother knock loudly on your front door, you should become alarmed. He'll make you aware that the 3-year-old has appropriated your garden hose and your rear stairwell, combining the two in the worst of ways to create a makeshift wading pool about eight inches deep.

Be warned that by now you may have water covering the floor of your kitchen. I did. My wife and I blanketed the floor with towels and I rushed outside with a two-quart pitcher in hand. Standing on the lowest step, which was not quite covered with the water, I began to bail out the stairway. It took many, many pitcher-fulls, as you can imagine -- and therefore many squats from my precarious perch to scoop up the water below my feet -- to get the water below the level of the door.

And that is why my quadriceps ache.

-- Logan Molyneux