Local women share tales of motherhood in tight-knit Web communities

Kelly King Anderson wouldn't be blogging if it weren't for another "B" word -- baby.

The 33-year-old Spanish Fork entrepreneur started blogging in July 2006 as a way to pass time while nursing her now 11-month-old baby.

A mother of three, Anderson wanted to connect with other women entrepreneurs and glean tips on balancing work and family. Launching a blog -- an interactive online journal that can be accessed by others -- seemed like the perfect merger of business and babies.

"I knew I didn't have all the answers but that we women could teach each other something," Anderson said. "It's so good to find people who are similar to you. It just makes me feel so much more connected."

What began as a means to self-expression blossomed into a business of its own, and a much-needed social outlet for Anderson and the dozens of other women who frequent her site, www.startupprincess.com.

"These are some of my best friends," Anderson said. "These are people that understand me better than my next-door neighbor because they are doing the same thing as me on a daily basis."

Blogging is a growing trend with women, especially among stay-at-home moms (or SAHMs, as they're called in the blogosphere) looking to connect with the outside world after being stuck inside the house all day with the kids.

The exact number of mommy blogs is impossible to pin down, but a popular woman's blog directory, blogher.org, lists hundreds of "Mommy and Family" blogs in its 7,400-site database. Titles run the gamut, from "Momma Knows Breast" to "More than Just a Mom."

Like Anderson, most blogging mommies are looking for been-there, done-that advice and support about myriad subjects, from babies to birthday parties to home-based businesses.

Kate Benson of Orem delves into dozens of topics on her blog, kmbfoto.blogspot.com. A recent post titled "100 Things About Me" melded lighthearted insights like "You can always find bubblegum in my purse" with more serious confessionals like "Need to lose 20 pounds."

Blogging "is a nice time outlet for women," said Benson, a professional photographer.

"It's just fun. If I'm editing photos and start to go crazy I'll take a break for five minutes and check some blogs."

Benson says she checks as many as 20 blogs a day for new posts but usually writes on her blog just twice a week.

Most bloggers are like Benson, writing a few times each week in an informal voice about a variety of intimate topics, said Amanda Lenhart, senior research specialist at the Pew Internet and American Life Project.

In a July 2006 survey by the Washington, D.C., institute, a plurality of bloggers (37 percent) cited their life and personal experiences as the primary fodder for their blogs.

"Even though a lot of times the political blogs get more attention, most blogs are personal expressions," Lenhart said. Blogs "are not about putting your life and experiences out into a void but are about sharing them with people."

The "come-one, come-all" attitude espoused on most mommy blogs makes it easy to join the exchange of ideas.

Julie Pettit began blogging as a family journal, never intending to bare her soul to the masses. Now Pettit frequently adds her voice to a handful of mommy blogs under the pseudonym "rarelyhomemom."

"When I first started blogging, I was worried about putting myself out there 100 percent," said Pettit, a mother of two boys. "I was worried about my real-life friends and family seeing my guts, so to speak. Now I'm so glad I was outed."

Blogging helped Pettit adjust quickly after her family moved from San Francisco to Lehi seven months ago and put her in touch with other adoptive moms of transracial families.

"I had no idea how meaningful and important [blogging] would become for me," she said.

Pettit's experiences may seem counterintuitive, but Phil Windley, a longtime blogger who teaches workshops on the subject, thinks strong connections are a common lot among bloggers.

"People think of blogging as this kind of solitary activity, but it really does form a community and conversations do happen within that community," said Windley, an associate professor of computer science at Brigham Young University. "I've met more people through my blog than any other thing I've ever done in my life."

Although there are plenty of friends to be made in the blogosphere, mean people are out there, too.

That's why Windley advises bloggers to watch their words -- especially if they are posting about home and family.

"On my blog, I'll talk about my kids but I never mention them by name," he said. "Some people talk about everything in their life that is going on, sometimes too much. Once it's up, it's almost impossible to delete."

To sidestep the dangers of revealing too much information about their families, many mommy bloggers use a set of widely known acronyms, such as DH (for dear husband), DD (for dear daughter) and DS (for dear son).

Others refer to their kids by numerical birth order -- #1, #2, #3, etc. -- while others still call each child by a consistent pet name.

Most bloggers post under a nickname or pseudonym, like Pettit's "rarelyhomemom," and Anderson's "startupprincess," especially when contributing to other people's blogs.

Anderson likes including her alias whenever she posts because it helps direct traffic to her blog.

More traffic means more moms joining the discussion, and hopefully, she says, more camaraderie.

"At first I was kind of doing it for me and six friends," Anderson said. "Now I'm getting 500 views a day. Even though we're spread out all over Canada and the U.S., women feel like we're a tight little group. We have a culture and a community of people, and we can all relate to each other and we're supporting one another."

A Few Local Mommy Blogs

* Kelly King Anderson of Spanish Fork blogs about balancing work, home and family at www.startupprincess.com

* Lehi's Julie Pettit blogs about parenting, marriage and adoption at www.rarelyhomemom.wordpress.com

* Professional photographer Kate Benson blogs about her current photo shoots and major life events at www.kmbfoto.blogspot.com

Get Blogging

Start your own blog for free on the Daily Herald's Web site. Visit www.heraldextra.com and click on the "Blogs" link on the navigational bar at the top of the page to get started.

Other free host sites: Google's Blogger.com, Yahoo's 360.yahoo.com and WordPress.com

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page B1.