If you’ve never been to Park City during the Sundance Film Festival, then you’re sort of like the merciless, indestructible cyborg at the beginning of “The Terminator.” You may look like you belong — although you probably aren’t as ripped as 36-year-old Arnold Schwarzenegger was — but the customs and the people don’t really make sense. You might even end up wandering through the streets at midnight without any clothes on — in a metaphorical sense, of course. Or maybe not.

Sounds grim, but what would you expect to happen in a resort town with fewer than 10,000 year-round inhabitants when roughly five times that many people decide to visit on the same weekend? It's kind of like that one line from that shark movie by Steven Spielberg. "The ocean turns red, and despite all the pounding and the hollering they all come in and they rip you to pieces!" OK, not really ¬ -- but it's pretty bad.

The opening-night screening of the 2009 Sundance Film Festival -- this year it's a claymation film about pen pals called "Mary and Max" -- happens Thursday at the Eccles Center for the Performing Arts on the premises of Park City High School. The real fun begins Friday, however, the first full day of public and press screenings, topped off with a second opening gala (film: "The September Issue") at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center in Salt Lake City. The festival continues through Jan. 25.

People who go to Park City to purchase films or write about them tend to be well-acquainted with the festival's ins and outs. And if there's something they don't know or weren't told, why, that's what a personal assistant is for.

If you're only a casual Sundancer, however, or even a festival first-timer, then you may not know all the moves, like where to purchase tickets, how to get around town, or even what there is to see and do after you get there.

Not to worry. Just approach the first ne'er-do-well street thug you see and tell him, "Your clothes. Give them to me." I mean, that would work if you were an emotionless killing machine with a robotic brain that could sort things out as you go. If you'd prefer a more human (and humane, really) means of coping, then keep reading.

TWO FOR THE SHOW

1It's good to bear in mind that the availability of tickets is iffy at this point. If you didn't plan ahead, then your best chance of seeing a particular film may be a day-of-show ticket purchase, or lucking into leftover seating via the wait list (both options are outlined below).

Beginning on Monday, tickets can be purchased online at festival.sundance.org (through Jan. 23), or in person at any of the four festival box offices (through Jan. 25):

• Park City Box Office: Gateway Center, 136 Heber Ave., Park City -- Pre-festival hours: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.; Festival hours: 8 a.m. to 7 p.m., closes at noon on Jan. 25

• Sundance Resort Box Office: Sundance Village, North Fork, Provo Canyon -- Pre-festival hours: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.; Festival hours: 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., closes at noon on Jan. 25

• Salt Lake City Box Office: Trolley Square (second floor), 700 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City -- Pre-festival hours: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.; Festival hours: 8 a.m. to 7 p.m., closes at noon on Jan. 25

• Ogden Box Office: Peery's Egyptian Theatre, 2415 Washington Blvd., Ogden -- Pre-festival and festival hours: Noon to 5:30 p.m., not open Jan. 25

• Day-of-Show Tickets: This option is available only in person at the Park City and Salt Lake City box offices. Unsold tickets are released at 8 a.m. Day-of-show tickets to the first screenings of each day are released at 8 a.m. on the previous day. Day-of-show tickets to screenings that begin after 7 p.m. are available at theaters for cash only.

• Wait List: Two hours prior to each screening (one hour prior to the first screening of the day), numbered cards are handed out at theaters on a first-come, first-served basis. Thirty minutes before the scheduled screening time, any available tickets are sold for cash to as many people holding a numbered card as possible. If you purchase a wait-list ticket but cannot be seated in the theater, then your money will be refunded.

Remember that, although your numbered card guarantees you a spot in the wait-list line, you may not get to make your purchase if you show up late. Also, the wait-list timetable is subject to change at the discretion of the theater manager.

• Exchanges: The festival does not refund ticket purchases, but you may be able to exchange unwanted or unusable tickets for tickets to another screening. This can be done until two hours prior to the scheduled screening time at any of the four festival box offices. There is a fee of $2 per ticket, and no exchanges are made at festival theaters.

WHERE'S MY SEAT?

SCREENINGS ARE HELD at 12 different theaters. The Yarrow Hotel Theatre in Park City is used exclusively for press and industry screenings. Seating capacity varies by venue:

Park City

Eccles Theatre (1,270 seats) 1750 Kearns Blvd.

Egyptian Theatre (282 seats) 328 Main St.

Holiday Village Cinemas (approx. 150 seats per auditorium) 1776 Park Ave.

Library Center Theatre (446 seats) 1225 Park Ave.

Prospector Square Theatre (332 seats) 2200 Sidewinder Road

Racquet Club Theatre (608 seats) 1200 Little Kate Road

Temple Theatre (267 seats) Utah Highway 224 near The Canyons (New venue for 2009!)

Kimball Junction

Redstone Cinemas (185 seats) 6030 N. Market St., Suite 120

Sundance Village

Sundance Institute Screening Room (164 seats) Sundance Village, North Fork, Provo Canyon

Salt Lake City

Broadway Centre Cinemas (approx. 240 seats per auditorium) 111 E. Broadway St.

Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center (485 seats) 138 W. Broadway St.

Tower Theatre (349 seats) 876 E. 900 South

Ogden

Peery's Egyptian Theatre (810 seats) 2415 Washington Blvd.

WHAT AM I WATCHING?

THE FILMS SHOWN AT THE FESTIVAL fall into several different programs, or categories, not all of which include films eligible for festival prizes. Some of the non-competitive categories not discussed at length in this space are Spectrum (dramatic and documentary films from first-time filmmakers), New Frontier (experimental cinema) and Park City at Midnight (offbeat films representing a variety of genres). Other categories are as follows:

Premieres

Festival audiences are the first U.S. audiences to see these films, many of which feature major stars or have been directed by established filmmakers. Some already have theatrical distribution and will open in U.S. theaters shortly after their Sundance debut. Films in this category are not in competition.

Some of the premieres at this year's festival are "The Informers" (with Billy Bob Thornton, Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke) and "Shrink" (with Kevin Spacey, Keke Palmer and Saffron Burrows).

Documentary Competition

One of these 16 films will receive a Grand Jury Prize, the festival's highest honor. Directing and cinematography awards are also up for grabs. These are nonfiction films about a variety of topics.

Some of the Documentary Competition selections at this year's festival are "Good Hair" (about the pursuit, among African-Americans, of a killer 'do) and "Sergio" (about a real-life United Nations "fixer").

Dramatic Competition

The 16 films in this category also compete for a Grand Jury Prize, as well as cinematography and directing awards and the Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award. These are fiction films about a variety of themes and characters.

Some of the Dramatic Competition selections at this year's festival are "Cold Souls" (starring Paul Giamatti as ... Paul Giamatti) and "Toe to Toe" (about teenage girls who are lacrosse rivals).

World Cinema Competition

Although internationally produced films are shown in other festival programs, the films in the World Cinema Competition, 16 documentaries and 16 narrative features, are exclusively from foreign countries. A World Cinema award will be given to the best documentary and the best narrative feature.

One of the documentary selections in the World Cinema Competition at this year's festival is "211: Anna" (a film that investigates the assassination of a Russian journalist). One of the narrative feature selections in the World Cinema Competition at this year's festival is "The Clone Returns Home" (about a clone who discovers the body of the astronaut he was cloned from).

WHERE CAN I EAT?

PARK CITY OFFERS A NUMBER OF RESTAURANTS, most of them located along Main Street, where you can get everything from a $75 steak to a $5 taco combo meal. Pick up a copy of the Jan. 15 UV magazine for a list of our favorite festival eateries.

WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO

ALMOST EVERYONE WHO GOES to the festival watches a movie or two, but that's far from the only way to spend your time in Park City. The festival offers a wide variety of diversions. For complete information about these events -- as well as a comprehensive listing of all film screenings and preview capsules of every feature-length and short film at the festival -- pick up a copy of the official festival Film Guide. The Film Guide is available free (one per customer) at most festival screening venues and various points around Park City and Salt Lake City. You can also download the film guide at festival.sundance.org.

New Frontier on Main

In 2007, New Frontier replaced the old (just) Frontier program, and is the only one of the festival's programs to have a specific HQ. New Frontier features the same kinds of films as its predecessor, and you can see the New Frontier films -- which are experimental films that break traditional narrative forms, or showcase unusual filmmaking methods -- at all of the usual screening venues.

For a broader experience of experimental cinema and art, however, you may enjoy visiting New Frontier on Main, located on the lower level of the Main Street Mall (333 Main St., Park City) and open from noon to 8 p.m. Friday through Jan. 23, and from noon to 3 p.m. on Jan. 24.

You can view moving image installation art, live performances and microcinema screenings, take part in workshops, panel discussions and demonstrations of new media technology, or have a steaming cup of coffee or a sandwich at the Rabbit Hole cafe. New Frontier on Main is open to all festival credential holders, and the general public on a space-available basis.

Filmmaker Lodge

In previous years, most of the events at the Filmmaker Lodge, located this year in the Elks Building (second floor) at 550 Main St. in Park City, have been restricted to people with festival credentials. In 2009, however, the door also is open for the general public on a space-available basis.

There's a different event each day at the lodge. For example, on Saturday, you might be able to sit in on Blueprint for Change at 2:30 p.m., a panel discussion among filmmakers and human rights activists prompted by the incoming Barack Obama administration. On Jan. 20, you could try dropping by at 8:30 p.m. for Late Night Trivia, an informal competition pitting teams of Sundance Film Festival know-it-alls against each other.

Consult the Film Guide for a complete schedule.

Music Cafe

The Sundance ASCAP Music Cafe is another formerly exclusive event that's welcoming in the general public this year, at least on (all together, now) a space-available basis. The 2009 Music Cafe is being held on lower Main Street, between 7th Street and 9th Street, at a temporary venue provided by The Shops at the Village on Main Street.

There's a daily lineup of live musical performances, Friday through Jan. 23, featuring artists including Chad & Jeremy, John Rzeznik of the Goo Goo Dolls, Birdmonster, and -- Huh? alert -- country and western megastar Wynonna. Sister Ashley Judd is no stranger to Sundance, but Wynonna's music is -- how do you say? -- not exactly in the festival's wheelhouse.

Shows are scheduled from 2-5:30 p.m. each day; doors open at 1:30 p.m.

WHERE'S THE FREE STUFF?

FEEL LIKE A FILMMAKER! You can get free stuff all over Park City during the festival. If you want to get loaded up with knickknacks by the festival's official sponsors, however, or just take a break from filmgoing and relax indoors, then the place to visit is Sundance House. The general public is welcomed at all times, with no limits. (Kidding! People without festival credentials may enter on a space-available basis, of course.)

Sundance House, open daily from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday through Jan. 24, is located inside the Kimball Art Center at 638 Park Ave. in Park City. The Entertainment Weekly Cafe serves a selection of soups and sandwiches, but the free stuff from festival sponsors is distributed on the patio.

Speaking of festival sponsors, there's also a plan in place for a lineup of special activities hosted by the various corporate entities, including Honda, Ray-Ban, Hewlett-Packard and Microsoft, that helps keep the festival in operation. No additional information was available at press time, but keep your eyes glued to festival.sundance.org/2009/film_events/sponsor_venues/ for forthcoming details.

WHERE CAN I PARK?

IF YOU'RE HEADED to Salt Lake City, Ogden or Sundance Village, then finding parking is probably not a problem. Finding a place to leave your car in Park City, on the other hand, requires careful planning and sometimes a little bit of luck.

Free festival shuttles pick up and drop off at all of the lots listed below. Signs are posted to help drivers locate each parking area. All parking is on a first-come, first-served basis, and lots fill up quickly each day. Where available, fee amounts have been included.

The Yard Park and Ride

New for 2009, The Yard is centrally located on Kearns Boulevard and Homestake Road. It's $10 per entry (cash only), but many venues are within easy walking distance and free festival shuttles pick up at the front of the lot.

China Bridge Parking Structure

Located one block east of Main Street on Marsac Avenue, the newly expanded (in 2006) China Bridge structure provides fee parking daily on a cash-only basis.

Prospector Square Lots F and G

Located on Prospector Avenue west of Poison Creek Lane, these lots provide fee parking daily on a cash-only basis.

Monitor Drive Parking Lot

Located at the LDS ward building on Monitor Drive north of Kearns Boulevard, this lot provides limited free parking from 3 p.m. to midnight, Monday through Friday, and all day on Saturday. No parking available on Sunday.

Kimball Junction Park and Ride

Kimball Junction is located 6 miles north of Park City where Utah Highway 224 intersects Interstate 80. The park and ride is free and free shuttles provide transportation between Kimball Junction and points in Park City.

Redstone Cinemas

Also in Kimball Junction, you can park for free at Redstone Cinemas at 6030 N. Market St. Free shuttles provide transportation to points in Park City.

WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO GET AROUND PARK CITY?

PARK YOUR CAR AND USE the festival shuttle buses. They're fast, free and the inconvenience of crowding -- it's often standing-room only during peak festival hours -- is at least somewhat alleviated by the likelihood of overhearing all manner of juicy showbiz gossip, or the chance of spotting (or sitting down next to) someone famous. (Chicago Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert is a known festival shuttle rider.)

The festival operates three shuttle routes daily that stop at all festival theaters, venues and parking lots, and at most hotels. You can expect a shuttle at any stop along each route every 10-15 minutes.

Park City Transit covers much of the same terrain, also free of charge, with buses in operation daily from 6:25 a.m. until 2:30 a.m.

If you're in the mood to stretch your legs, then you can follow any of the marked walking routes, a service the festival began in 2007. Routes are marked on the festival's transit map, and on the inside back cover of the Film Guide, with a grid to help you estimate the time needed to walk between various points around Park City.

WHAT IF I CAN'T REMEMBER ALL OF THIS?

LOOK FOR A VOLUNTEER. Festival volunteers are easiest to spot at festival shuttle stops, where you can pick them out by their distinctive, brightly colored jackets. With more than 1,200 volunteers on the job, you can probably find one just about anywhere you go.