For seven years, Beth weighed her options -- be on the street with her children or remain with her abusive husband. For seven years, afraid of being homeless, she endured physical, mental, emotional and verbal abuse. For seven years, she lived in fear of the known and fear of the unknown.

It took her LDS Church bishop telling her that whatever she needed to get out of her situation, he would help her with it. So she got out. Today she's in the Center for Women and Children in Crisis for the second time after fleeing with her children earlier this week.

Beth is one of 40,000 Utah women abused every year. She is one of the 2.6 percent of Utahns who has been beaten by a spouse, family member, intimate partner or roommate.

But she's alive and so are her children, so she doesn't fall into the worst statistic -- domestic violence fatalities.

The Utah Department of Health this week released a report on the number of domestic violence deaths in the state for 2005. For the first time, the number, a record-high 65 deaths, included domestic-violence related suicides, putting a new angle to the pervasive crime.

The state received a grant from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to study violent deaths and conducted research on suicides related to domestic violence.

The numbers are frightening, said Teresa Brechlin, the intentional injury prevention coordinator for the state's violence and injury prevention program; 44 people killed themselves because of domestic violence, while 21 were killed by others.

"I didn't think there were near that many suicides," she said, adding she usually heard of two or three a year. "We're used to reporting 18 domestic violence deaths."

The suicide is correlated if there's a protective order involving the suicide victim or if any of the surrounding circumstances involved violence, the threat of violence or the threat of suicide. Two of the suicide victims were women, and the other 42 were men. Six killed themselves after killing another person.

"Domestic violence is such a complicated mess of why and how and who," she said. "We really don't know. It's just varied as to why."

Kim Kowallis has some idea. The shelter manager of the Center for Women and Children in Crisis has seen a lot in her 14 years, including those who come in feeling suicidal. They're broken and beaten down and after years of emotional abuse they believe what their abusers have said. When the women are severe enough to be a risk to themselves or others, clinic staff gets them to a local hospital or Wasatch Mental Health, stat.

"We get them help very quickly when that kind of situation occurs," she said.

According to Kowallis, they aren't usually able to keep track of clients once they've left, so she didn't know if any had committed suicide. She said about six years ago a woman who stayed at the shelter ended up running to Florida and was later found hanging in a closet. Police never determined if it was suicide or homicide.

The homicide numbers were slightly above previous years; the average is about 18 deaths a year, Brechlin said. Ten of the homicide victims were men; 11 were women. All domestic-violence related homicide suspects were male; 18 were an intimate partner or family member. Most used guns, and most killed inside a residence. A third of the 24 suspects committed or attempted suicide after the killing, and four of the homicides followed a history of abuse between the victim and the suspect.

"It's a hard cycle to break out of, especially if you were raised in it," Kowallis said.

Workers at the Center for Women and Children in Crisis are trying to break that cycle. The shelter's 27 beds are almost always full, and the women who stay are making life plans, applying for housing, learning skills like cooking and financial management and going to therapy sessions. It's a familial environment -- sometimes literally, as with a woman with an abusive husband who brought her mother, her daughter and her granddaughter with her -- but also because all the women can relate to each other.

"It's like 24/7 therapy," Beth said.

It also provides a safe environment for children and help to get back up. So just do it, Kowallis said.

"It's scary, but they can face their fears and get away and be on their own," she said. "They can do it, and there are a lot of people out here that are willing to help them."

Beth is not her real name.

Who to call:

Center for Women and Children in Crisis: (801) 377-5500

Suicide Prevention: (801) 226-4433

Springville Family Counseling Services: (801) 491-0222

Utah Domestic Violence Link Line: 1-800-897-LINK

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE

Signs of an abuser:

Threatens violence

Breaks objects

Uses force during arguments

Shows intense jealousy

Shows controlling behavior

Quickly gets involved in relationships

Sets unrealistic expectations

Isolates partner

Blames others for their problems

Hypersensitive

Uses "playful" force during sex

Defines rigid sex roles

Rapid mood swings

Source: Family Crisis Center

Domestic violence is:

Slaps, punches, kicks, bites, chokes, pulls your hair or burns you

Tries to make you have sex when you don't want to

Calls you obscene names

Tries to keep you from seeing family and friends

Controls the money so you have to account for every penny or beg for money

Threatens to harm you, your children or him/herself

Source: Center for Women and Children in Crisis

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page A1.