Kansas City has great restaurants.

I know this because I just spent a few days there with my son Claybie, who was there for a job. He'd been there for several weeks and, of course, he had a ton of places he wanted to go: mostly restaurants, and stores that had shirts he possibly wanted me to buy for him, and a North Face jacket store where he'd picked out something great because he lives in New York and it's freezing there.

Those North Face jackets are danged expensive, but fortunately, he was willing to pay for the jacket in return for the shirts. Hmmm. Mixed blessing there.

Anyway, he's one of those skinny people who always eat more than you do and doesn't get fat.

So the first place we went was called Justus Drug, this place about 20 miles outside of KC with the most amazing food you've ever eaten. People kept saying they've spent four hours there just having dinner and I thought they were crazy; but this place was SO good.

Every bite you had, you just had to stop and say, "Wow, that was SO good!" We had an appetizer and dessert and ate the bread. It was just a regular pig feast.

Then, the next night was barbeque at a place in a gas station. I mean, a real gas station, with pumps, and Cheetos up front. Oh, it was incredible too. I had chicken and I ate the whole half. So deeply ashamed, but I couldn't help it. I'm sorry

We also went to this Swiss chocolate shop with pastries and candy and, ohmygosh, the richest ice cream you've ever tasted. To go with the pastry.

So, of course, the end of this story is that, after a couple of days, I started to feel like Winnie the Pooh. You know, "Rummbly in my tummbly." Only, I think the Winster was hungry. I was just embarrassed.

You know how people talk all the time about being older and having to endure the aches and pains of arthritis and worn out knees? How come they never mention your digestive tract, which gets a little worn out as you get older?

Man, no wonder when you read those recipes in the AARP magazine, they are for the blandest foods this side of rice baby cereal. Just when some of the really more fun options start to disappear, like you've seen the plot of every movie ever made at least four times, suddenly you can't overeat either.

My grandkids think my tummy problems are hysterical. My granddaughter likes to take a running leap at my tummy every now and then, just for a laugh. It's not enough to be round and lumpy, I have to be musical too.

I know the answer to this is to just not party so hearty anymore, but what's the point of having grown-up kids who can finally afford to pay the check at a nice place? What's the point of being able to eat something besides hot dogs and macaroni and cheese at home?

I guess it's alright, just another cross to bear as you get older. Of course, I have enough sense to not be a little piggy all the time. I think that was the problem, I'd forgotten I was wearing out. That I can't have chocolate sauce on dessert one day, and pastry with chocolate ice cream the next day, topped off with barbeque and fries.

That's the problem with several things lately. I've sorta forgotten that there are parts of me that dont work like they always have.

Like running down stairs. I see people running down stairs in movies and it's like watching the gymnastics competition in the Olympics. I just wonder how they can do it. It's so cool.

I remember doing cartwheels and standing on my head and doing flips over my dad when he knelt on the carpet on all fours. I remember that, I just can't do it anymore.

I guess I'm glad I did those things and that I remember them.

What's horrifying is that I'm going to remember this time in my life in ten years, and I'm going to think then that I was so young now and wonder how I could do the things I do now and take for granted.

Ratz. This just isn't going to get any better, is it? Toot, toot.