Kieth Merrill apology

To the myriad fans of Richard Dutcher and members of the LDS film community, many of whom I have disillusioned and offended and to whom I wish to apologize. The essence of the following is being personally delivered to Richard and Gwen Dutcher by a mutual friend.

My outrageous and over-reactive response to Richard's editorial in the Daily Herald was inappropriate and wrong. I was wrong in doing it. I was mostly wrong in what I said. There were reasons, of course, but none of them qualify as an acceptable excuse for my bad behavior. I regret my actions and my words. I apologize for my sarcasm, criticism and condemnations. I am sorry. I have asked Richard and Gwen to forgive me.

In the shadow of Elder Holland's magnificent address in the recent general priesthood meeting -- and re-reading it this morning -- it is frightening to me that I could be so stupid and insensitive. He admonished that "We try to be 'perfect' men and women in at least this one way now -- by offending not in word, or more positively put, by speaking with a new tongue, the tongue of angels ... filled with faith and hope and charity."

I am clearly guilty of offending words and speaking with the tongue of devils not angels. My rant was destructive, venomous and arrogant. It is I who am "psycho." Offensive words spoken are bad enough. Offensive words written and put on the Internet become an irretrievable poison in the cosmos. Retractions can never scrub it completely clean so going forward I will endeavor to find other ways to make it right if I am able.

The only completely accurate and honest statement in my outburst may be my final expression of genuine sorrow and loss. Richard and I share a passion for filmmaking. We are otherwise very different in our experience, goals and sensibilities. But I have genuine respect for his significant talent and am sincere in feeling that his departure from "Mormon Cinema" is ultimately a loss to the prophetic vision of Spencer Kimball.

I wish Richard well in his righteous endeavors and pursuit of cinematic truth. I hope he finds what he seeks and like Oliver, returns some day. I wish the best for his darling wife, Gwen, and their six boys. I am sure that Richard has carefully considered the impact of his choices on them and their future.

Forgive my outburst.

Kieth Merrill

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page A5.

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