And Al Gore looked down upon his people and said, "It is not good that there is great consternation in the land, especially among those souls in the eastern parts."

The people were in fear due to the oppressive mildness of the temperature. They began to cry to the heavens for relief; the temperature had risen 0.7 degrees over the past five generations.

Because of the people's great faith in him, Al Gore established a new church: the Church of the Global Footsteps. And the people believed, heaping their praise upon him, as well as monetary contributions.

Soon, all of the eastern parts were converted, save a handful of evildoers (83 percent of all climatologists).

The oppressive mildness was removed in very few weeks and bitter cold was ushered in.

Life-altering conferences on warming problems could not be held. And the people were sore amazed, and full of joy (except for the evil climatologists, who were stranded at airports, forced to shovel snow).

And Al Gore looked down again and said:

"This is good. Within my generation, I've invented the Internet, been elected president and solved global warming. Praised be my name."

Glenn Musick,

Provo

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page A6.

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