This BYU-Utah rivalry is like a good woman.

Worth the effort, for sure. But the more I know, the less I understand (apologies to Don Henley).

There are still many questions on my end six years later, a lot of contradictions to sort out. It's hard to explain to outsiders why what we've got is so good.

And strange. And unique.

The more confusing it gets, the more it makes sense.

Like:

I know Utah fans who won't swear, won't drink and have an aversion to anything besides church on Sunday. And I know BYU fans who secretly appreciate a good scotch.

I know of BYU fans who despise Utah coach Kyle Whittingham, a former Cougar player, anonymously. His mother, Nancy, lives in Provo and says, ask around -- her son is still quite beloved around Utah Valley.

I know BYU fans who are scared of seeing a game at Rice-Eccles Stadium, because of alleged issues with alcohol and brawling. I know Utah fans who would never go to LaVell Edwards Stadium because it's supposedly way too comatose. And, you know, BYU fans will also make Saturday a time for fighting (apologies to Elton John).

I know former missionaries who now hate BYU. I've found converted Mormons who still love Utah, and can't get behind the "Church's School."

I know a ton who hate that term. I know a lot who take pride in it.

I know fans on both sides who are afraid of their school mementos being vandalized on game week. Meanwhile, Whittingham's mom puts out all sorts of Ute gear in Utah County and swears no one ever touches a thing.

I know a BYU graduate with a basement wet bar in her house, and a Utah fan who won't touch caffeine.

I know a lot of people in the state who chuckle at BYU's honor code. I know a bunch on the outside who are fascinated by it. No sex, no alcohol, no drugs? Why even go to college, they snicker. Although some others tell me they think the discipline is cool.

How can this rivalry possibly compare to USC-UCLA, Ohio State-Michigan, Auburn-Alabama and a number of others that are celebrated so much more?

We answer ... it just does.

But in different ways. Crazy ways. Hypocritical ways. Ways, whether folks will admit it, that go way beyond the 100-yard field.

I don't know if that's good or bad.

The difference between here and a lot of places is Utes and Cougars constantly cross paths. Work, church, family reunions, school, parole board. You name it.

I know BYU and Utah fans who will root each other on -- except when they're about to meet. I know fans who say that's sacrilege.

Other schools don't have these problems. It's so much more clear cut. They meet up one day a year. Maybe there's a family connection or two, but little else.

For example, at Kansas I'd rarely run into a Kansas State fan in Lawrence. Except if I happened to be out cow-tipping that night.

And in Manhattan, Kan. -- pathetically, the goobers call it the "Little Apple" -- a Wildcat fan would never seek out a Jayhawk.

Unless it was to ask for spare change, or a job.

This Beehive State rivalry can get nastier than an ex-girlfriend, more intoxicating than a new one.

It's really fierce (apologies to Tyra Banks), especially among the fans.

It helps fuel the love-hate, obviously, when this year's game should be especially fantastic.

Two top-15 teams battling it out, with so much at stake, on what is expected to a be a gloriously sunny and 50-degree afternoon. The game will kick off at 4 p.m., and it will finish in a shroud of darkness.

Is that when "magic" happens? I don't know if I should have brought that up (apologies to BYU receiver Austin Collie).

The great thing about it is, we all have ideas of who will win -- and how.

But no one really knows.

I know both teams think they're living right, whatever the heck that means (sorry again, Collie).

I know Utah fans who actually believe their offense is better. And I know the same Utah fans want their offensive coordinator, Andy Ludwig, fired.

I know BYU fans who actually think their defense will be fine. And I know BYU fans who were praying last Sunday for it to hold up one more game with all of those injuries. Cougar fans will also want the head of some assistant coach if they don't win.

Matter of fact, I know fans on both sides who have prayed all week in the hopes for bragging rights.

I know a lot more people who don't want "Holy War" attached to this rivalry.

I know a lot of people who think it will come down to a field goal.

I know Utah fans, despite having the great kicker Louie Sakoda, who fear that the Cougars might just block the darned thing.

I know BYU fans, despite their team beating the Utes on miraculous plays the last two years, who fret that King Louie will knock a dagger right down the middle for the school's second BCS bid since 2004.

I know fans who think, somehow, both teams will get a BCS bid this year.

It goes without saying I also know delusion exists on both sides.

Of course, many fans also respect the other team's head coach, Whittingham and BYU's Bronco Mendenhall.

I actually know fans that aren't all-in about their own coach. As if 11-0 at Utah and 10-1 at BYU have left open a lot of room for criticism.

And there sure are a lot of people who think these coaches are actually alike: smart, charismatic, driven to win the right way -- leaders who have made their fan bases proud.

To friends and family, I fail to properly explain the beauty of two Utah gems: The BYU-Utah (or Utah-BYU) football game, and our skiing.

A tough sell, really. Sadly.

You want the world to know, but is it really so bad to have a couple of secrets?

I just feel fortunate to be in-the-know.

At least I think I am.

• Jason Franchuk can be reached at jfranchuk@heraldextra.com