Tonight in the BYU-UConn football game, these five things will definitely happen:

1) Tayson Hill will run for a touchdown after scrambling out of trouble

2) The BYU offense will be called for at least five false start/holding penalties

3) Jordan Leslie will catch a touchdown pass

4) Bronson Kaufusi will knock down at least one pass

5) The ESPN announcers will say one of BYU's players "took" a mission

And these five things definitely won't happen:

1) UConn running for a touchdown to Kaufusi's side of the field

2) BYU with zero turnovers

3) The Cougars making a field goal beyond 40 yards

4) Bronco Mendenhall smiling for the ESPN cameras

5) A thunderstorm delaying the game for an hour

Have a fun night, wherever you are.

Darnell Dickson, who has been covering sports in Utah since 1989 (with a detour to Nebraska for three years somewhere in there), is currently the BYU football columnist and BYU men’s basketball beat writer.