Like a kid who has to go potty, needs an ice cream and begs to get out of the car, I plead: Are we there yetfi

This week, with the Big Game to be played today, has sometimes dragged on. Kind of like Bronco Mendenhall's Sunday night coaches show, which is too often a woefully awkward presentation between the always straight-faced but normally affable Cougar boss and a KSL talking head who has yet to figure out how to make the guy banter with him.

Several more pot shots on that later.

This Utah-BYU rivalry, it's so "West Side Story."

Or in this case: North-South, lordy.

So the animosity feels a little too manufactured some years, a little too predictable. Like boxing. And these pugilists deserve to be regarded with higher esteem.

Thank goodness the game is never so cliche, never prone to giving into the boredom and lack of originality that too often dictates the moods of the central characters during the days leading up to it.

This week's themes weren't nasty, but their lack of creativity was equally offensive.

"We're going to beat you!" (BYU) and "Oh, no you're not!" (Utah). C'mon, fellas, you can do better.

Love the games, hate the hype leading up to them.

What makes these teams think they're so different, anywayfi

Each is on its third coach since the Mountain West Conference started seven-plus years ago. In that span, both teams are 37-20 against league schools. They are tied for first place.

So could this be the beginning of a new era, perhaps some BYU dominationfi

Hard to say.

The popular answer for this mostly blue-clad readership would be to say the Cougars are going to kick butt and rule the Utes last for 30 years, or until Mendenhall decides to let loose and happily answer one of Tom Kirkland's quirky questions on his own televised coaches show.

Wait, that could be even longer.

But the truth -- no more painful than the repartee on the agonizing program, thank goodness -- may be that BYU's win, while quite expected, isn't going to begin some sort of one-sided return to the 1980s.

Remember, BYU loses basically its whole offense after this year. As much as this year spoke about the program's return to excellence, the ability to follow it up may symbolize even more.

If BYU doesn't win this year, it's scary mojo. Should've happened last year. Better win this one. It's an old group, a talented group, a team that is playing "at a higher level" -- man, I'm going to miss that Mendenhall-ism after the season's over -- than the Utes have been able to display for any great length of time.

If BYU can't pull out a win in these 60 minutes, it's nothing short of a choke job considering what the 9-2 team has done to everyone else in the league (7-0). No pressure.

At least BYU has this heading into the game both teams always want to win: the extra-incentive advantage for the first time since 2001.

2002: Both teams stunk, had losing records. Yet the Utes were at home and had a chance to clinch BYU's first losing season in 29 years.

2003: BYU stinks again; Utes clinch outright MWC title by defeating Cougar team that is so injured at quarterback, it nearly has to throw in a sportswriter.

2004: Utes storm through historical BCS year. Cougars never had a chance.

2005: Utes, despite being in Provo with quick-fix quarterback, need the win for bowl eligibility.

Now, 2006, and the Utes have done all they can outside of the typical goal of beating BYU. There is nothing more to play for. They're bowl eligible and they may have to go to Fort Worth, Texas, in December. That's not good. Kind of like the vibe Mendenhall gives toward a certain talk-show host.

Meanwhile, the Cougars have a chance to end a four-year drought against their rival, and send their long suffering seniors out as undefeated conference champs.

If you follow BYU, that's awesome.

Kind of like the unintended-humor value of watching a certain football show.

So who winsfi Been asked that all week, and I'll say 35-24 Cougars.

If only for Kirkland's sake. Because no person deserves the task of having to make chit-chat with Mendenhall late the next night, if his team somehow loses this game.

Get all your BYU sports news at CougarBlue.com

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page C1.