Hello, beautiful readers,

Some time ago, I set out to write a four-part series about ADHD. The irony, though not entirely unintended, is that I got halfway through my series before moving on to other things. To put too fine a point on it, I exhibited a common trait of ADHD while writing about the very thing that plagues me. It’s like poetry, if written by a moron. Hi, I’m the moron.

But I digress …

We’ve come upon the very best time of year, where the smells and sights all conjure up beautiful images of fangs and claws and knives and hatchets, sharp things that slice and dice unsuspecting victims with the grace only a murderous monster could provide. Yes, it’s almost Halloween.

Of all the holidays I celebrate, none captures my attention and devotion more than Halloween. I’m not suggesting I’m an expert on the holiday nor on the goings-on, per se, but I can perhaps provide you with some fun ideas and ways to enjoy your spooktastic season.

First, if you’re looking to dress up for Halloween, may I suggest looking in your own closet for inspiration? Yours truly, for example, is going as “Beat Bobby Flay” star, Bobby Flay. While I don’t have red hair, I do have a plaid button-up shirt, jeans, Converse shoes and a red pepper grinder, which I’ll try not to throw every time I pretend to be exasperated. Who or what will you be dressing up as this year?

Secondly, if you’re not watching scary movies by now, you are not my friend. And if you are my friend and you’re not yet watching scary movies, you’re no longer my friend. And if you’re watching scary movies but you have or plan to omit the 1985 classic “Fright Night,” 1995’s “Scream” or the beloved Don Knotts/Tim Conway “Private Eyes” (a riff on Sherlock Holmes), then you might as well not be my friend because you’re obviously a fool. I will accept “Transylvania 6-5000” as a substitute for any of the aforementioned films.

Finally, you’re probably not thinking, “Man, I really wish FanX was here again!” But if you are, or even if you’re not, I strongly advise you to check out Fear Con. Though primarily for fans of the macabre, Fear Con certainly offers something for virtually everyone (who isn’t elderly or a young child). Last year was a blast, with live shows, collectibles, Q/A panels and excellent cosplay, but this year they’ve upped the ante and will be showcasing horror movie actors you know and love. Among these guests you can meet Tara Reid (“Sharknado”), Tyler Mane (“Halloween,” “X-Men”), Jordan Ladd (“Cabin Fever”) and more. Awesome.

Fear Con promises to offer the most fun and fright you can find over the coming weekend (Oct. 11-12), with lots of opportunity to get your Halloween fix in style. To learn more about the event and to purchase tickets, go to www.fearcon.com. Tell them Gary sent you … they won’t get it, and won’t care, and you won’t get a discount on tickets, but it might be funny to see the confused reaction, you know? Of course you know, you’re you and you are neat.

Bye.

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