According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence Awareness Month was launched in 1987 as a way to help victims get help and support, bring awareness to the issue and hold abusers accountable. While domestic violence is one focus of the month, it is important to remember that there are other types of domestic abuse, in addition to physical violence.

Types of abuse include physical, sexual, financial, technological, spiritual, stalking, psychological and emotional, according to Utah Domestic Violence Coalition. A victim may not realize that abuse is occurring because we so often think of abuse as physical — hitting, punching, kicking, etc. But, verbal and emotional abuse can have both short-term and long-lasting effects that are just as serious as the effects of physical abuse. Verbal abuse is also often a sign that physical abuse may follow.

According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, a victim may be in a verbally-abusive or emotionally-abusive relationship if a partner attempts to exert control by: calling names, insulting, constantly criticizing, refusing to trust, isolating from friends and family, damaging a partner’s belongings, humiliating or threatening.

That sign of one partner trying to exert more power or control in the relationship is a key sign that friends and family members can often see. Some other common signs are isolation, trying to keep one partner away from family members and friends, along with controlling finances and actions.

Other signs can include extreme jealousy, damaging belongings, threatening, demeaning and calling names and criticizing the partner. These are all things that others might recognize in a relationship in which one person needs help.

Asking for help for oneself is not always easy. There are many barriers to victims of domestic violence leaving their partners or seeking help. Because abusers often repeatedly try to maintain their power and control over their partner, victims are left feeling powerless or dependent on their abuser and afraid that they can’t survive on their own.

Some victims feel like they don’t have the financial or physical means to live on their own. or may feel like they will not have the support of friends or family if they try to leave. In fact, it is estimated that it will take someone an average of seven attempts before they are able to permanently leave an abusive relationship.

Fortunately, there is hope and help for anyone facing domestic abuse. There are many resources that can help remove some of those barriers and help individuals find safety and healing.

Many domestic violence help websites have a fast exit tab, one that can be clicked to get off the page immediately in case a violent partner is about to see the computer. Help is available 24 hours a day at The Refuge Utah’s domestic violence hotline at 801-377-5500. The hotline can be used by victims or loved ones who want ways to help.

For those of you out there who are being abused, whether it be verbal, physical, sexual, economic or other controlling behaviors, there is help. Please don’t think that you can’t ask for help because you may not have visible bruises.

If you see this happening to a friend, neighbor, family member or anyone that you know or encounter, know that you can offer a listening ear, believe them, share resources and provide support. We can all help by not looking the other way. We can all help by taking abuse seriously – no matter what form it is. Keep the conversation going, even past the month of October.

Help for Domestic Abuse

National Domestic Violence Hotline:

http://thehotline.org

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Text “START” to 88788

Utah Department of Human Services

http://dcfs.utah.gov

Utah Domestic Violence Coalition

http://udvc.org

1-800-897-LINK (5465)

The Refuge Utah

http://therefugeutah.org

801-377-5500