A producer from KSL’s “Studio 5″ show contacted me recently about a segment she’s working on that discusses raising kids who aren’t LDS in a predominantly LDS community. Because I’ve written about Utah’s religious culture through the lens of a nonmember (my book, LDSLiving.com articles), she thought I might be interested in the topic. “Yes!” I said.

The segment isn’t intended to be an exposé, rather a fair-minded, healthy, light talk about the pink elephant in the room.

Ironically, I love the idea of a large pink pachyderm. The connotation isn’t negative. I believe an elephant’s strength and steadfastness are attributes required to build bridges.

Human behavior – basic sociology – interests me. It just so happens that I live in a place where the culture and social norms are heavily influenced by a major religion. I spend more time (than is probably healthy or normal) observing and thinking about issues that contribute to, or bridge, the nonmember/member divide. A divide that some people aren’t comfortable discussing, and others claim they haven’t seen or experienced firsthand. But, a divide that although narrowing, I maintain still exists.

The producer wanted some pre-filmed footage of my husband, sons, and me sharing our story – how we ended up in “our” ward, the feelings we experienced, and what life looks like now. Sounded like an exciting and reasonable idea to Chris and the boys. But initial enthusiasm for the project was quickly replaced with brake screeching trepidation. My family is uncomfortable talking about this on camera, even though there’s no big surprise or controversial statement.

“We’ll do it, but you talk, Mom,” my sons requested.

“I understand,” I said.

A live panel consisting of nonmembers and members sharing their suggestions for helping kids who struggle with perceptions of religious segregation is scheduled to occur on the segment’s airdate. I enthusiastically agreed to participate in the live discussion, and offered to recommend some women who could provide the LDS perspective.

Like my family, very few people want to discuss the topic…on camera. And again, I understand.

Feelings go from open and neutral to offended and defensive in a heartbeat when religion or parenting is discussed, let alone when the topics are combined. Communication is difficult and the stakes are higher in public discussions. There are topics that I don’t write about, and conversations I have with only my closest friends (several I could have handled better). But, I remind myself to listen, put thought into the opinions of others…and try to self-reflect. Whether I’m participating in the discussion or watching from the sidelines.

All divides and pink elephants can be approached the same. At a minimum with a subdued ego, a desire to improve the situation – or at least understand it better – ideally with a dash of humility.

Next week I’ll share how the video shoot goes, and confirm the segment’s date and time. In the meantime I need to brush up on how to ride an elephant. Stay tuned…

Chrisy Ross is the author of To Mormons, with Love: A Little Something from the New Girl in Utah. She lives in Alpine with her husband and three sons, and blogs at ChrisyRoss.com.