My friend’s son was kicked out of his high-school English class for calling a girl in the class a bitch. The teacher wanted to spark discussion on a controversial topic and then kicked my son’s friend out of class when the discussion became heated.

What are appropriate words to use in class? Obviously, in an elementary or middle school setting, I advocate a zero tolerance policy for all swearing. In high school, the rules have to be more flexible. Kids hear swear words everywhere they go: music, movies, commercials, YouTube videos, other students, and parents. Even our sports heroes are caught dropping the F-bomb on camera.

Obviously an English teacher needs to model and encourage the use of more imaginative word choices than swear words. But, when a teacher starts a topic they know may be controversial in order to encourage debate and discussion, the teacher should be prepared to handle a swear word or two. Name calling and insults are unacceptable, but teaching teens to engage in debate without bad language is also the teacher’s job.

Students don’t get effective models of respectful debate anywhere. TV news programs show shouting matches where adults interrupt and throw out word bombs. Social media is full of bullying, swear words, and insults.

Students also don’t get effective models to repair relationships and reengage when they have said something wrong. Social media encourages teens to break off relationships instead of repair them. The “unfollow” is how teens today handle broken relationships. The teacher who decided to kick my son’s friend out of class instead of repair the relationship used the “unfollow” option in real life.

Encouraging debate is vital to education, but it can be a mine field for teachers. Teachers should prepare students to debate respectfully, redirect discussion that become heated, and definitely not over react when they hear swear words. They also need to help students re-engage in debate with each other by repairing relationships instead of “unfollow” IRL (in Real Life).

Jeanne Whitmore is the founder and CEO of American Fork charter school Aristotle Academy and an education columnist for the American Fork Citizen. You can learn more about Aristotle Academy at aristotleacademyk8.org or on Facebook.