It’s a crisis. At 9 p.m. Saturday, Orem High School students dressed in formal attire were arriving for their annual prom, which was just getting under way in the Grand Ballroom on the second floor. In those two or three critical minutes it takes couples to stroll from their cars to the front door, and then ride up the long, slender escalator, they will have aged maybe a quarter-hour. This is cause for serious consternation. By the end of the prom, many of these kids will be middle-aged.

What was behind this strange warp in the space-time continuum? A county worker in the building blamed a malfunction in the convention center clock. “We’ve known about it for awhile,” the worker said, though he couldn’t explain the spinning. It’s a puzzle of Einsteinian proportions. Perhaps Earth is accelerating toward the sun and we’re about to be evaporated. Or maybe Provo has moved into a parallel universe. Or maybe the Utah Legislature has finally done away with daylight saving time: Before it has a chance to get really dark, it’s tomorrow morning.

Whatever the cause, somebody needs to recognize the dire emergency this presents on prom night. It means that once in every regular earth hour, a beautiful young Cinderella at the dance is going to be reduced to rags, her date will turn into a mouse and his car will turn into a pumpkin. Play Twilight Zone music here.