You might notice that McDonald’s is coming up with every way possible to sell chicken products lately, while hardly mentioning what brung ’em to the dance: burgers. That’s because beef prices and supply are as unpredictable and volatile as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ marriage (raise your hand if you didn’t see that coming), while chicken prices and supply are more stable, like Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. Ozzy, stable? You laugh, but … 30 years.

Spicy Chicken McBites take over the McBite franchise from plain, regular McBites, which were introduced in early 2012. Those were bready and bland. Spicy Chicken McBites are bready, but a little frisky.

Here’s the blueprint: a cool paper packet stuffed with deep-fried, breaded chicken pieces laced with onion, garlic, pepper and other spices. Served with your choice of dipping sauce.

Total calories: 410 (for the “regular” 5-ounce packet). Fat grams: 25. Sodium: 890 mg. Carbs: 27 g. Dietary fiber: 1 g. Manufacturer’s suggested retail price: $2.99.

Like the original Chicken McBites, these spicy buggers offer real pieces of white-meat chicken — none of that extruded, gloppy nightmare that goes into Chicken McNuggets. Wow, McDonald’s now has chicken pieces that came from one actual chicken! The parade is heading east down Main Street.

McDonald’s Spicy Chicken McBites do taste pretty darn decent. They’ve got a nice kick to them, and they’re satisfying enough that you’ll be shaking the packet into your mouth so you get every last crumb. Wipe your chin. You missed a couple of crumbs.

But there are so many negatives, I’m not sure Spicy Chicken McBites will ever make McDonald’s permanent menu. The McBites are irregularly shaped. I get that and expect that. These are real pieces of chicken. But the sizes are so different that you get a couple of larger pieces with a good-size chunk of chicken inside, and a few that barely have any meat — they’re just fried breading balls. Those might be the ones that taste best, by the way. But you didn’t pay for fried breading.

The McBites packet is innovative and cool — it comes with a self-enclosed sidecar for your dipping sauce. Choose among: Sweet ‘n Sour, Honey Mustard, Chipotle Barbeque, Tangy Barbeque, Spicy Buffalo, Sweet Chili, Hot Mustard and the defending champion, Creamy Ranch.

Spicy Chicken McBites also come in a 3-ounce snack size for $1.99 and a 10-ounce “shareable” size for $4.99. Yeah, shareable … except keep your mitts out of my Spicy McBites.

Spicy Chicken McBites measure up for quality (real chicken) and flavor (spice is nice), but what about value? Uh … no. Two dollars isn’t a snack, when McDonald’s offers two McDouble cheeseburgers for the same price. Spicy Chicken McBites are really just McDonald’s spin on popcorn chicken, and you just don’t get enough for your $2.

For $1, you can walk across the street and get five Spicy Chicken Nuggets — also made with real white-meat chicken — at Wendy’s. That’s the best bargain in fast food, anywhere.

For $2, you get 10 Spicy Chicken Nuggets. Hey, I just did my multiplication table at the dinner table.