McDonald’s is everywhere. There are McDonald’s restaurants on every corner, in schools, hospitals, gas stations, mall food courts, Walmart stores and baseball stadiums. You know what I’m waiting for? A McDonald’s inside a McDonald’s. That’ll speed up the line.

This is what it’s come to at McDonald’s: They’re naming burgers after toppings. With beef prices breaking the bank, I’m surprised McDonald’s is even unveiling a new burger. Have you noticed that everybody’s chicken about doing anything with beef lately?

Here’s the Cheddar Bacon Onion Angus Burger blueprint: a third-pound Angus beef patty, a slice of pasteurized process white cheddar cheese, hickory-smoked bacon, caramelized onions and creamy mustard sauce on a puffy, bakery-style bun.

Total calories: 790. Fat grams: 41. Dietary fiber: 4 g. Protein: 45 g. Sodium: 1,830 mg. Carbs: 62 g. Manufacturer’s suggested retail price: $4.39.

The CBO also comes with a chicken breast instead of a beef patty. A breaded and fried Premium Crispy Chicken CBO has 630 calories and 29 fat grams. A Premium Grilled Chicken CBO has 480 calories and 16 fat grams.

Cheddar, bacon and onions do make for a potent combination. But, like most burgers at McDonald’s, something seems to be missing or slightly off the bull’s-eye.

The cheddar slice is weak. Anytime you look at the ingredients list and there’s an asterisk next to the cheese, you can see an accountant poking his nose into the test kitchen. When I see “pasteurized process cheese,” I think of food intended for a time capsule. The bacon is thin — not the sterner stuff you find at Wendy’s, Carl’s Jr. or Hardee’s.

While the third-pound Angus beef patty plays fourth fiddle to the three main toppings, the patty always makes or breaks a burger. This is a good-size patty. It’s firm and juicy hot off the grill. But it loses some of its steam under the burden of so much top weight. Its shelf life is about two minutes, so make sure you’re getting a hot one.

The onions were a curious choice. Funny thing about onions — people love them as onion rings, like them grilled … but toss them raw. The best play would have been to throw a couple of giant onion rings on top of the CBO, but we’re fine with grilled and caramelized.

The creamy mustard sauce has a nice little kick, but with the onions and cheese, it’s not really needed for moisture. I’ll leave it off next time.

The CBO Burger is unmistakably McDonald’s. More than any other burger joint, you always can tell when somebody slams down a Big Mac, a Quarter-Pounder or an Angus Burger — he or she smells like McDonald’s for the rest of the day. I’m convinced I could walk into a packed Yankee Stadium for a nighttime game and sniff out everybody who’d eaten lunch at McDonald’s. It’s the food that stays with you.

Overall, let’s give the Cheddar Bacon Onion Angus Burger a solid B for blueprint, and a C-plus for flavor and value.