Yes, you have to take a foreign language to get your degree in fast food. “Frappe” is a French word meaning “shaken.” I’ll use it in a sentence: The candidate was visibly frappe when a reporter asked about his secret baby with a stripper named “Sizzle.”

Here’s the blueprint: ice, caramel coffee frappe base, mocha coffee frappe base, whipped cream, chocolate chips and a double drizzle of caramel and chocolate.

Hey, isn’t double drizzling against the rules — even though Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson got away with it for years?

Total calories: 530 (for a 12-ounce “small”). Fat grams: 24. Dietary fiber: 1 g. Sodium: 140 mg. Carbs: 74 g. Manufacturer’s suggested retail price: $2.99.

That’s about the same amount of calories and fat grams as a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, which has 520 calories and 26 fat grams.

There’s a rule of thumb about eating, which goes: Don’t drink your calories and fat. Which will make you feel fat, sassy and satisfied: an iced coffee drink, or a big ol’ juicy Quarter Pounder with Cheese?

Smarties know that you can have both if you get a McCafe Iced Coffee with Sugar-Free Vanilla Syrup, which packs only 60 calories and 5 fat grams.

But that iced coffee isn’t going to shake your sweet tooth like a Frappe Chocolate Chip. Think of iced coffee as a beverage, and frappes as dessert. You don’t chug a frappe. You slowly sip and enjoy the indulgence.

Chocolate chips are like bacon and butter: They make anything, with the exception of tofu (which is unsalvageable), taste better.

Frappe Chocolate Chip is icy and delivers a wallop of flavor. The coffee and caramel mocha mixes are rich, creamy and sweet, and the ice ratchets everything up five notches — for at least another month or two.

The frothy top is silly but is required by the Frappe Law of 1894. The chocolate and caramel syrup on top are a bonus. I’d like to stick my head under the chocolate syrup pump and tell the McDonald’s frappe maker to fire away.

The McCafe concept of Starbuck’s-style coffee drinks has been a smash since McDonald’s introduced it in America in 2001. Now the line includes smoothies, shakes, frappes, plain coffee and special lemonades. It’s just one more reason to go to McDonald’s. And that’s the whole idea behind everything on that ever-expanding menu behind the counter.

An indulgent combination of rich mocha, sweet caramel and a hint of coffee, with added chocolate chips, all blended to perfection. Topped with whipped cream, plus a double drizzle of chocolate and caramel. It’s heaven, available for a limited time.

(c) 2012 by King Features Syndicate.