Here’s the Steak & Bacon Melt blueprint: two paper trays of small steak pieces, about four to six slices of bacon and about four slices of cheese, all toasted melty-hot, then spruced up with your choice of Subway veggies and condiments on freshly baked bread.

Total calories: 1,000 (for the footlong). Fat grams: 32. Sodium: 3,160 mg — look out! Carbs: 102 g. Protein: 76 g. Dietary fiber: 12 g. Manufacturer’s suggested retail price: $8, depending on location.

The two other sandwiches in Subway’s Steak Melts Collection are: the Big Philly Cheesesteak and the Chipotle Steak & Cheese. I never knew that sandwiches were highly collectible. Take one down to “Pawn Stars” and see what the Old Man will give you for it. This one is worth $8 — he’ll offer you 50 cents and then try to sell it for $15. It’s like Craigslist doesn’t exist on that show.

I’m not usually swayed by commercials. For example, I’m not buying jeans just because Brett Favre wears them. But one commercial — it happens to be for Arby’s — has put a little negative vibe in my head about Subway. It’s the spot where Arby’s says: “You don’t really think they slice the meat in the back of the restaurant (at Subway), do you? Nope, the meat is sliced in a factory a million, trillion miles away.”

That commercial made me pause. You know something? When I get a sub at Jersey Mike’s, Lenny’s or a deli, I do appreciate seeing them slice the meat fresh in front of me. I’m not so crazy about paying almost double what Subway charges, though.

It’s not a comfort-food moment when I see the sandwich maker at Subway peel off pre-sliced meat for my footlong. I’ve always wondered about that at Subway. How long has that sliced ham been sitting there? When were those steak bits, or Buffalo chicken pieces actually cooked? I used to worry, was it that morning? Now I’m concerned that it was days … or who knows when ago.

For a restaurant that uses the slogan “Eat Fresh!,” Subway sure isn’t delivering fresh-sliced meats and cheeses in its fresh-baked bread.

Then another voice in my head (I’m very complicated) says: “You’ve eaten sandwiches all your life at home, and every one of them was made with meat that was sliced at a faraway factory. And you’re still kicking.”

We’ll carbon-test the Provolone later — let’s get back to the Steak & Bacon Melt today. This is very meaty (two paper trays of steak pieces), with lots of bacon, lots of cheese and all the veggies you can point to before the guy in back of you starts rolling his eyes. You get your choice of cheese — might I suggest the Swiss or provolone? American cheese and cheddar are sooo 1990s.

Like every sandwich at Subway, you can pick your bread, too. Since this is a straightaway sandwich — meat and cheese — I’d stick with plain white Italian. This is not time to freestyle with 9 Grain Wheat, Honey Oat or Monterey.

The Steak & Bacon Melt is popped into Subway’s turbo-charged Doppler 3000 oven for a fast meltdown. It emerges bubbly hot and perfectly crispy. Subway does not use a microwave, so don’t worry about sogging up your sandwich to achieve the gooey cheese. They do it right.

The bottom line on the Steak & Bacon is a numbers-cruncher. On one hand, you’ve got $8 for a 1,000-calorie sandwich, not counting chips and a drink. On the other hand, you’ve got quite a fistful of steak and bacon and cheese.

I’d use a third hand — someone else’s — to fork over the money.