If everything is supposed to be bigger in the Lone Star State, then Church’s got it right with Texas Chicken. Let the other chicken joints ask if you’d like dark or white meat, breast or thigh, drumstick or wing. While they’re poking through a pile of chicken pieces with tongs, like a game of pickup sticks, Church’s gives ’em all to you.

Texas Chicken is a half-chicken, served as a whole half-chicken — one big hunk. You know, the way Dad eats at home. Individual pieces are child’s play. And no, you canNOT eat in front of the TV.

Here’s the blueprint: a half-chicken, served with a plastic knife and fork. Dig in.

Total calories: 460. Fat grams: 27. Sodium: 954 mg. Dietary fiber: 0 g. Protein: 54 g. Carbs: 1 g. Manufacturer’s suggested retail price: $3.69.

Texas Chicken is for big eaters who start thinking of dinner while they’re still eating lunch. They turn in at so many fast-food joints, they’ve had to replace their car’s blinker bulb five times.

Texas Chicken starts with a marinated chicken that’s cooked without breading or batter. Then a skilled Church’s chickenologist sprinkles on secret Texas seasoning, which melts into a flavorful barbecue glaze. The glaze whispers “sweet ‘n’ spicy” … and screams “Texas barbecue.”

Church’s Chicken was founded in San Antonio in 1952, so Church’s knows what Texas tastes like. You’ll hear a crackle when you bite into the skin — that’s the sound of great chicken talking, y’all.

Texas Chicken is a terrific deal every way around. First, and most important, it tastes delicious — there’s nothing like it at the other poultry palaces — you hear that, Colonel and Sailor Man?

Plus it’s a tasty price — a half-chicken for $3.69, and that includes a Hollywood-size breast. Lots of places, sure, they’ll load a bucket with pieces, but just try to find a breast in there. With Texas Chicken, you get a breast, wing, thigh and drumstick — still connected, as Mother Nature half-created.

If you’re low-carbing it, one last-ditch effort to wear a swimsuit this summer, Texas Chicken plays right into a high-protein diet. The chicken is hiding one measly carb.

What the heck, forget the beach (like you have for the past 15 years) and order a Texas Chicken meal for $5.69, including a side dish, one of Church’s incomparable honey-butter biscuits and a soft drink.