Here’s the blueprint: a good grabful of shrimp, breaded and deep-fried, with a side of fries and one of Church’s criminally addictive biscuits slathered in honey butter.

Total calories: 680. Fat grams: 31. Dietary fiber: 3 g. Carbs: 80 g. Protein: 17 g. Sodium: 2,250 mg. Manufacturer’s suggested retail price: $3.49. Or you can switch out the shrimp for two large white fish fillets, also breaded and plunked in the deep fryer.

I hear you: “What happened to your mantra, Mr. Drive-Thru Gourmet? You know, ‘Order what’s on the sign outside.’ Like pizza at Pizza Hut, burgers at Burger King, you get the idea. This is no time to freestyle.”

I’ll tell you what happened — a full quarter-pound and then a few more shrimp, with fries and the best biscuit ever passed through the side window of a fast-food joint, all for only $3.49. When you catch a deal like this, your mantra can, um — I mean om — wait a week.

For an extra buck, you can complete your seafood meal with a side of cole slaw or a small soft drink. Might I suggest a frisky Diet Coke? Why the soft drink instead of slaw? If you eat in … free refills on soda. Slaw is a one-hit wonder.

Shrimp and fish meals are returning Lenten season regulars at Church’s. They always go over big. It’s a value and a tasty change from the same old, same old — although for me, Church’s hand-battered and double-breaded extra spicy chicken never gets old.

The shrimp is fried crispy, with a gentle shake of cayenne pepper in the breading. It won’t make you gasp and point to the fire extinguisher on the wall, but you’ll definitely know it’s there. The fish filets are made with Pollock, an Alaskan fish, and they’re bigger and crunchier than your usual drive-thru menu stretcher. Like a clue in Sunday’s crossword puzzle, my filets measured 5 across and 3 down.

Now, what’s a seven-letter word for “delicious” at Church’s? B-I-S-C-U-I-T. Church’s makes and bakes its biscuits from scratch. While they’re still warm, Church’s adds to the mayhem by brushing them with a sweet honey-butter potion. Hey, that’s excessive celebration — 15 yards assessed on the kickoff.

The problem with the biscuits at Church’s Chicken is, and I’m serious, you start thinking: “Why am I bothering with anything else? I’ll just order six biscuits in a take-home box next time.” Well, really eight … you’ll eat two on the drive home. Who’s to know? Been there. Done that. Not ashamed.