Dinner party musts: When you’re invited to a dinner party, it’s not for dinner.

Food has long served as a rally point for social interactivity. Most any social event has hors d’oeuvres, appetizers, snack foods, finger foods, sweet foods or beverages. Maybe we just need something to keep our hands occupied at these soirees.

When you’re invited to a private dinner at a friend’s home or a family residence, a good guest will keep a few things in mind.

Your host hasn’t invited you over to eat. Your friend wants to catch-up and see what’s new with you. Your family wants to touch base with how work is going, how school is going and what you’re doing next week.

For these reasons, I always eat before going to a dinner party. It’s both polite and precautionary. Since it’s a social event I want to be available to visit with other guests without having to speak in between bites of food.

Eating before you go also prepares you for a long night if you don’t like the food being served. I know how I get when I get hungry, and it’s not sociable.

It’s polite to have a small meal beforehand in case your host didn’t prepare enough food. On that note, I always leave a little food left on my plate. An empty plate tells your host you aren’t full and can eat more.

George Washington recorded 110 “Rules of Civility” which he lived by as a gentleman. Many relate to dinner party etiquette:

No. 54: “Play not the Peacock, looking everywhere about you, to See if you be well Deck’t, if your Shoes fit well if your Stockings sit neatly, and Clothes handsomely.”

No. 105: “Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it not but on a Cheerful Countenance especially if there be Strangers for Good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feast.”

You want to add to the evening, not discount it with distracting and uncongenial behavior.

At your next social engagement, prepare yourself as a guest first and as a diner second. Food acts as the common ground everyone can launch from into a conversation — that is its purpose at dinner parties. The meal is not the evening’s entree, it is at best a side dish of the party.

Make your host feel at ease and enjoy your loved ones — leave the appetite at home.

– Casey Adams