Step into the world of Santa Queen Drive-Inn
The Granny Burger with battered fries and homemade fry sauce is pictured Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017 at Santa Queen Drive-Inn in Santaquin.
The Country Fried Steak Sandwich with Battered Fries is pictured Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017 at Santa Queen Drive-Inn in Santaquin.
A Cookie Dough milkshake and hand-dipped onion rings with tartar sauce is pictured Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017 at Santa Queen Drive-Inn in Santaquin. ISAAC HALE, Daily Herald
The Granny Burger with Battered Fries and homemade fry sauce is pictured Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017 at Santa Queen Drive-Inn in Santaquin. ISAAC HALE, Daily Herald
The Country Fried Steak Sandwich with Battered Fries is pictured Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017 at Santa Queen Drive-Inn in Santaquin. ISAAC HALE, Daily Herald
A Cookie Dough milkshake and hand-dipped onion rings with tartar sauce is pictured Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017 at Santa Queen Drive-Inn in Santaquin. ISAAC HALE, Daily Herald
Imagine, friends and countrymen, a thick slab of country fried steak smothered in gravy, placed inside a pocket of warm hash browns, then contained within two giant pieces of Texas toast bread. Now imagine that, but with a single egg, fried to perfection, thrown in there somewhere as well.
If just imagining such opulence didn’t make you keel over, your eyes cartoonishly turned into Xs and your tongue flopped out, then you may be safe to try the real thing.
And to that point, I come with good news: The miracle of human excess that I have described is actually a thing you can buy and put inside your mouth at Santa Queen, a tiny hole-in-the-wall joint in Santaquin. The name of this miracle: The Country Fried Steak Sandwich.
Granted, it’s not the snappiest of names, but a dish this extravagant needs a bit of simplicity to balance things out or things could get truly dangerous. And the name of the establishment itself, Santa Queen, already single-handedly reaches the minimum required level for creativity in naming.
Walking inside the tiny restaurant is not the only way to enjoy its food. The primary way people probably consume the tasty delights of Santa Queen is in their vehicles, as the place is a drive-in. (The proper name of the place mysteriously adds an unnecessary “N,” recalling the silent “N” in the phrase, “Damn, this food is good, and it also will certainly kill me.”)
But walking in was the way my wife and I chose to experience the guilty pleasure food products at Santa Queen, and we were immediately placed in a charming world all its own.
The first thing you see when you enter the place is a sign that indicates the restaurant was the Santaquin Area Chamber of Commerce’s 2011 “Business of the Year.” On the walls, you see an eclectic mix of large mural paintings of cartoon animals, a three-dimensional decorative birdhouse, pine trees carved out of wood and three arcade consoles of video games.
You can buy a T-shirt for $12 with the Santa Queen Drive-Inn logo on it, suggesting the iconic character the little place has in town.
It’s a small-town-friendly joint. While looking across the counter at the menu on the wall, the workers (who, from the servers to the chef, all appear to be teenagers), are chatting with an older gentleman who immediately tells us, through a big smile, what he thinks we should order.
His most urgent recommendation is the Country Fried Steak Sandwich, which he describes in immense detail and with the enthusiasm of someone describing a miracle of the New Testament to a crowd of doubters.
“And they’ll put whatever kind of sauce or whatever you want on there,” he says, reassuringly.
But this man is not there to cynically get us to buy anything, because at one point, he offers us his own home-baked strawberry cake for free, which he has placed on the counter for all to enjoy, including the young chef, who happily says he will take some to his girlfriend.
“Don’t pass that stuff off as your own,” the man says. “Make sure she knows I made it, and give her my phone number.”
By now, we are ready to place our large order, which includes a halibut sandwich combo, a “Granny Burger,” the famous Country Fried Steak Sandwich combo, huge onion rings and a peanut butter cup shake. I ask if I can get the burger without the normal fries (since we’ll already have plenty), and I’m told that when you don’t order the combo, “it still comes with a few fries — is that OK?”
All the food, which collectively weighs about as much as the two of us, amounts to less than $24.
The music playing is a mix of country and pop songs. When a track from “High School Musical” comes on, the girl that took our order swiftly goes over to the iPod and changes it. Michael Buble is next, and it apparently makes the cut.
The Granny Burger is a quarter-pounder with a mix of Swiss and American cheese inside. It’s a standard diner-style burger, loaded with all the normal toppings: tomato, lettuce, pickle and sauce.
The meal is rounded out with a specialty drink, the “Royal Cow,” which is a root beer mixed with french vanilla creamer. It tastes like a root beer float.
The bantering between the man and the workers includes a lot of talk about the Future Farmers of America, with occasional hints of what sounds like flirtation coming from the man. Halfway through our meal, he says goodbye, and when he leaves, the workers remark that they like him. It seems he might be there a lot.
Look. This food is not going to become the darling of the elite hipster foodie. It’s just honest, greasy goodness, everything fried in the red, white and blue of deliciousness.
Don’t let the monarchy in the title fool you: Santa Queen is as American as it gets.
SANTA QUEEN DRIVE-INN
Where: 40 E. Main St., Santaquin
Prices: $1.59-$7.79
Hours: 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday-Saturday
Info: (801) 754-3051
