A prom for former Mormon polygamists is my idea of a good time
Tina Majorino, left, and Jon Heder play Deb and Napoleon Dynamite, respectively, at a high school dance in "Napoleon Dynamite."
Tina Majorino, left, and Jon Heder play Deb and Napoleon Dynamite, respectively, at a high school dance in "Napoleon Dynamite."
It’s prom season — a little late in the season maybe — but for these couples and singles, a little late might be OK.
The “Second Chance Prom Night,” to be held Saturday evening in Colorado City, Arizona, is a party for adults who grew up in the Short Creek community of Mormon fundamentalists who never got a chance to go to prom as kids.
“I don’t personally know of anyone who went to a prom,” said event organizer Margaret Cooke to ABC4 News4Utah. Cooke grew up in the Short Creek community herself.
I may currently live in Texas, but my heart will be in Colorado City this Saturday night.
I never got to go to prom. Let me put it another way: My high school had a prom, but I never went. I grew up in a Mormon community, too — though my break-off branch of the religion founded by Joseph Smith was the one led by Brigham Young, which formally discontinued the practice of polygamy a century ago (at least, it did among currently living spouses, but that’s a topic for another column).
And I too credit my Mormon community as a youth as one of the main reasons I skipped out on prom, though most of my Mormon friends growing up did go. Actually, I was asked to prom by a woman in my ward on behalf of her daughter, and even though I had had a crush on that daughter throughout much of my youth — let’s call her Veronica — I was so scared of school dances that I didn’t go.
I still think about the conversation sometimes.
“You know, Veronica doesn’t have a date for the prom.”
“Oh … is that right?”
“Yep … you might want to ask her — hint hint.”
“Oh, actually I’m not going to prom.”
Silence.
“You mean you don’t have a date?”
“No, like I’m not going to go to prom at all.”
“You’re going to miss your senior prom? You’re going to regret that.”
“I’m sorry. Bye.”
Not that it wasn’t flattering to be asked out by (the mother of) a girl I had liked throughout my first temple trips and Deacon-Beehive activities. I just had decided that prom wasn’t for me.
It wasn’t just that I was scared of school dances. I was also in a relationship with a girl who had moved to another country shortly after we started dating (a pure coincidence, she assured me), and the parameters of that relationship were a little unclear to me, so I didn’t know if I was even allowed to go.
But it was mostly that I was scared of school dances.
I loved church dances — I was the self-proclaimed king of church dances, and I would dance the “Cotton-Eyed Joe” like nobody’s business — but I had heard stories of what my non-Mormon peers would do at school dances that made me want to run far, far away from them, so I avoided them at all costs.
“Everybody at school dances grinds!” I was told.
“They literally have sex on the dance floor,” someone else told me.
“What do the chaperones do?” I demanded, imagining the lawless debauchery of my algebra class peers and shuddering.
But those rumors were pretty much enough for me. I wasn’t going to prom. I thought, if I don’t care about this as a 17-year-old, there’s no way I will ever care about this.
And I was mostly right, although, as a 31-year-old, I have to admit that Sister Veronica’s Mom may have been a little bit right too.
So I think this “Second Chance Prom Night” idea is totally rad. Volunteers have offered dresses, and the free event will name king, queen and the best-dressed couple.
The prom will be located in the Mountain View Events Center, a building where a home-schooling system was put in place by FLDS prophet Warren Jeffs, who is now serving a life sentence after being convicted on two counts of sexual assault of a child.
A GoFundMe page has been set up to get the floors ready for a night of dancing, and it describes the event as “a night to remember for so many who never had the chance to experience one of life’s strangest milestones.”
The Mountain View Events Center is located at 668 Mountain View Dr., Colorado City, Arizona. For more information about the event, visit facebook.com/events/340480116478129.