When your loved one receives a dementia diagnosis, a decline in cognition and memory is the main symptom you expect to see. But what you may not expect are behavioral symptoms like aggression, paranoia and wandering or the emotional toll these all take. You may find yourself stepping into an unexpected parental role, struggling with how the diagnosis has drastically altered your relationship with this loved one.

If this sounds like your situation, you’re not alone. Whether you’re a spouse, child or other close relative, maintaining a strong relationship through enriching activities, intentional communication and caregiving training programs can help ease the way. And if the challenges become too much, expert dementia experts can provide support and relief.

Stay connected through leisure activities

A dementia diagnosis doesn’t mean you have to give up the activities that bring you and your loved one joy. A research review published in Health & Social Care in the Community found that leisure, recreational activities and music activities at home or in groups “offer a calming effect on the person with dementia.” Whether it’s riding bikes, attending a concert or taking a painting class, these fun activities can strengthen your relationship and add joy to a difficult time.

The Alzheimer’s Association also encourages caregivers to “create a daily routine which promotes quality sleep and engagement with others.” Remember, you’re not alone! There are people who care for you and your loved one, and simply engaging with them can be so helpful.

Communicate openly and reminisce together

Dementia can make communication difficult. But according to the same research review referenced above, it is beneficial for couples experiencing dementia to “communicate openly with each other about the impact of dementia on both themselves and their relationship.” How do you go about that?

One helpful approach is reminiscence therapy, “a treatment that uses all the senses — sight, touch, taste, smell, and sound — to help individuals with dementia remember events, people, and places from their past lives. As part of the therapy, care partners may use objects in various activities to help individuals with recall of memories.”

Professionals can help guide you through the therapy, but you and your loved one can also do something as simple as look through photo albums together at home. This exercise can help you have meaningful and intimate conversations that strengthen your relationship, even through this difficult time.

Gain confidence through caregiver education

When you’ve been an equal partner or child of someone who now has dementia, there’s a steep learning curve as that relationship changes. You don’t have to navigate it alone! Join a caregiver support group, ask your local hospital about skills training programs and check out these training videos, which cover everything from how to handle driving to how to recognize common triggers for behavioral problems.

Know when it’s time to ask for help

A loving family, armed with a little education, can provide wonderful support. But when behavioral symptoms arise, love and patience may not be enough. With symptoms like hallucinations, serious withdrawal and changes in sleep patterns, the care needed can far exceed what’s manageable at home.

“Families often come to us feeling emotionally drained and unsure of where to turn after months or even years of trying to manage behavioral symptoms at home,” said Scott Dagenais, director of therapy and mental health operations at Generations Healthcare, which operates facilities throughout California. “Our behavioral health team is trained to support not only the person living with dementia but also the entire family — through structured routines, therapeutic activities and ongoing communication with loved ones. Early intervention from a specialized care team can improve quality of life for everyone involved.”

Dementia may change your relationship, but it doesn’t have to erase your connection. Engaging in leisure activities, talking openly together and educating yourself on how best to care for your loved one may, as one study put it, “slow cognitive decline in dementia, reduce the caregiver’s sense of burden and may delay the need for transfer into residential care.” And then, when it’s time, seeking professional help may be the best decision. It’s not giving up — it’s honoring the relationship you have built with your loved one.

Isabella Markert is a content writer for Stage Marketing, a full-service content marketing agency based in Lehi.