On first glance, the film “We Don’t Live Here Anymore” would seem to put new spins on a couple of common clichés. First of all, what’s good for the goose is not always all that great for the gander. And secondfi

Do not unto the spouses of others what you would not have them do unto yours.

This uncomfortable look at the problems within a pair of marriages among friends, directed by John Curran, debuted at the Sundance Film Festival in January. It was promptly purchased by Warner Independent Pictures and will enjoy a limited release across the country on Friday.

“We Don’t Live Here Anymore” follows the travails of two couples who, shall we say, share a bit too much chemistry with each other, leading to a pair of emotionally taxing affairs among the foursome. In confronting the aftermath of their actions, the individuals learn more about themselves and their relationships, and chart uncertain courses for the future.

Jack Linden (Mark Ruffalo) and Hank Evans (Peter Krause) are a pair of congenial college professors whose wives — Terry Linden (Laura Dern) and Edith Evans (Naomi Watts) — are best friends. Both relationships have underlying problems, which are only exacerbated when Jack and Edith begin an affair.

Turnabout proves fair play for Hank and Terry, and miscommunication is the natural byproduct as the four individuals are forced to confront the failures of their marriages and how that affects their children.

Curran and the four principal cast members participated in a roundtable discussion with journalists in Park City following the movie’s Sundance debut. Following are excerpts from those chats:

Director John Curran (“Praise,” “Down Rusty Down”) and Mark Ruffalo (“13 Going on 30,” “In the Cut,” “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)

Q: Children seem to play a very important role in holding families together … do you agreefi

John Curran: It’s the thing I responded most to in the script. It wasn’t really in the text, the story wasn’t about the kids, but they’re always there. The way that we cast it, we got very lucky with the kids and the way that they played it. They’re really the wise old souls of the film, and, to a certain degree, it’s the parents who are acting like kids. The kids are sort of a barometer about their parents’ relationships.

Q: Well, Mark, you confessed last night that you and John both kind of bonded not only over the fact that you’re both fathers, but also the weird insanity of thinking about killing your kids (as Jack ponders in a pivotal scene in the movie) …

Mark Ruffalo: I didn’t bond so much on the killing the kids part of it. There is a moment though, I said to my wife, ‘You want to go play “Olly, Olly Oxen Free” or “Monopoly”fi It’s like to check out of that interaction where it’s, like, getting crazy. It kind of reflects your own growth, it’s like a mirror. The way you react to children and what they do, it’s a mirror to your own maturity. It really brings into focus places where you need to go. It’s my kid, my teacher in a weird way. John Lennon said his son is his guru, and I never knew what he was talking about until I had a kid.

JC: I think if you want to learn a lot about yourself, have a kid and you quickly see your flaws, your strengths and your weaknesses. I think they reflect everything right back at you. You develop things with your partner that you’ll kind of accommodate each other because you’re adults and you can live independently, but a kid … you know, if you’re in a crappy mood, then sooner or later your kid’s going to be in a crappy mood and you know where it comes from. And you’ve got to take responsibility for that.

Q: Watching the movie, a friend I was with said, “Jack didn’t do a single nice thing for Terry the whole story.” What’s your response to that in terms of the characterfi

MR: I think relationships have their moments of trouble. And no one’s doing very many nice things to each other in the horrible, blue-light times of a relationship. I think they are just deeply out of communication. And it kind of numbs my resentment over not communicating. They’re at the time of their lives when whatever dreams they had about who they were going to be or what their careers were going to be are kind of past them now. There’s a lot of disappointment they’re dealing with, and a lot of frustration and maybe wanting to hold on to a part of their youth about feeling sexy or feeling wanted. For two people to be that horrible to each other, there’s some part of them that’s deeply rooted. We’re dropped at the beginning of this movie in the middle of a crisis.

Peter Krause (“The Truman Show,” HBO’s “Six Feet Under”)

Q: I was going to ask about the decision for the two male leads to both have beards …

PK: That was John’s decision. I think his idea is that they were teachers at a liberal college where both were liberal, free-spirited guys, at least that’s what they wanted to feel that they are. I think there’s also some visible simpatico between the two characters because of the facial hair.

Q: John said it was a pretty hectic shoot …

PK: It was extremely hectic. It’s one of those things where you have to commit to an action immediately and John, thankfully, had done a very thorough job beforehand in terms of what he wanted out of the script. We all dropped some other things to do the shoot, I think. Most of what you saw in the film is really John’s vision. There’s some things here and there where I think the actors influenced the direction of a certain scene or moment, things like that. But he was very particular about how things were going to play out. When a film or anything gets funneled through one person, I think you’re going to be better off. Television sometimes I think has a problem because it’s written by committee, but if you have one person guiding an artistic piece of any kind, you’re going to be better off.

Q: Compare acting in television to acting in movie:

PK: Honestly for me in between the words “action” and “cut” it’s the same thing. Unless it’s a comedy or something like that where different kinds of timing are involved. It’s easier to do a movie than it is to do a TV series, I think.

Q: Do you feel at all like the character in the moviefi

PK: Yes and no. There were a few women who came up to me last night (at the debut) and I felt a little bit like I should defend (Hank). I think Hank has a very fragile ego, ultimately. I think Hank wants to be great. I think you get sucked into wanting to be great in life, in Hank’s situation you end up being not such a great husband and a great father because you’re so focused on, “I want to be perceived as a great writer, I want to have some sort of greatness attached to me.” His self-worth is really tied into achievement which I think is a trap. It prevents you from being happy.

Laura Dern ( “Jurassic Park,” “Rambling Rose”) and Naomi Watts (“21 Grams,” “The Ring”)

Q: Naomi, how do you prepare yourself for a rolefi

Naomi Watts: Every role is different for me. I like a lot of rehearsal. You get nervous when you have to do it, you spend time with it in your head and in your own private way. I do have to work with a coach as well. But working with a good director and good actors (helps). I didn’t have any time to really research this role and I don’t know what you’d do to research it anyway. But with “21 Grams,” I had a lot of time and it required a lot of research.

Q: How do you develop a relationship with the cast before you shootfi

NW: I knew John and I knew Mark. I’d never met Peter before and somehow that worked beautifully for what was necessary to create onscreen. And Laura …

Laura Dern: We’d met, rightfi

NM: We’ve both worked with (director) David Lynch.

Q: What is it that David Lynch finds in each of youfi

LD: We have to ask him that actually. But whatever it is and however we connected when we first met, that’s the thing I loved about working with Naomi — and we didn’t have much time working together. Because there’s this huge back story between friends and this enormous betrayal. The thing that was just such a privilege for me, other than who she is as an actor and I was so thrilled and honored to get to work with her, but also because there are people that seek out the truth … and there are people who also like to tell it. And she’s one of those rare girls. I can look in her eyes and know what’s going on and I’m sure that’s why David also loved her. David and I both had that relationship, too, I mean, I kind of grew up with him. I don’t know if I had it when I met him, but I met him at 18 and I spent several years of my life trying to learn about getting honest as an actor and going further than you ever thought you could go.

Q: Naomi, how do you feel about your character in this moviefi

NW: Edith instigates (the affair), which makes me ticked off at her because that’s not the way that I would do it. I would want to talk, get to the bottom of the problem, before having the affair, you knowfi “What is going on in our marriagefi Why have we come to thisfi” But Edith is a person whose communication is absolutely gone and she’s depressed and can’t connect with her husband and so she does something ultimately to get a reaction from him and then he doesn’t react. And then she’s like, “What have I done to myselffi Who have I becomefi”

Q: Naomi, many of the characters you’ve played have very intense qualities, how would you feel about doing a comedy or a musicalfi

NW: I would like to dance in a movie. I can’t sing … but I’m dying to do more comedy. I just did one last year with Debra Russell and it was so stimulating. But I have weird taste. These kinds of characters interest me for whatever reason. Maybe I’ll get bored with that and move over to that side of things. But the romantic comedies, the formulaic, kind of structured thing doesn’t hold my interest. I think there are good ones out there, but very few and far between.

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page B1.

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