Sweetheart, I’m in love … with icing on top.

Here’s the blueprint: a layer of low-fat chocolate ice cream, topped with crunchy chocolate-cookie pieces, then another layer of vanilla low-fat ice cream, all decorated with creamy icing and your choice of “Happy Valentine’s Day” with a bright-red rose works for me. If things didn’t work out, “You broke my heart, so I’m going to get even by eating this entire cake by myself” works, too. Down in Louisiana, they might whip one up that says, “I can’t read our annulment — am I allowed to tell people we were once married, Britneyfi”

The icing is made with Blue Dye No. 1, Blue Dye No. 2, Red Dye No. 3, Red Dye No. 40 and Yellow Dye No. 6. I love Red Dye No. 40! I think it’s the most delicious artificial coloring.

Total calories (per serving): 340. Fat grams: 12. Dietary fiber: 1 gram. Manufacturer’s suggested retail price: $12.79 (may vary).

The Valentine’s Day cake is available throughout February. After V-Day, just write something else on top. It’ll still score points with your honey.

Valentine’s Day cakes are made in-store by highly trained Dairy Queen professionals. The catch is, not every Dairy Queen makes cakes, so call ahead to make sure. And remember, ice-cream cakes stay fresh for only five to seven days. So don’t buy yours too early. The Supremes were right — you can’t hurry love. It might get freezer burn.

A Valentine’s Day cake is 9 inches across and about 3 inches high. It weighs more than 3 pounds. It’s a belly-buster, all right.

To make clean slices, run hot water over a knife. Wipe the blade dry Dairy Queen is one of the great drive-thru products. Who doesn’t love a DQ cone dipped in chocolatefi What’s better than a Blizzard with Snickers Bars mixed infi And don’t get me started on Pecan Mudslides. One is never enough.

This ice-cream cake is a wonderful way to celebrate romance. Or, you can just stuff yourself silly with ice cream. It’s packed with chocolate and vanilla soft-serve and loaded with fudge and crumbled cookies. And it’s topped with rich, creamy icing. Stop me when I say something that isn’t driving you crazy for something sweet.

Dairy Queen sells heart-shaped cakes two times a year — once, obviously, for Valentine’s Day. The other occasion is Christmas, when Dairy Queen makes Santa’s face with an upside-down heart.

The top-selling holiday for ice cream cakesfi That’s Father’s Day. No wonder Pop’s put on a few pounds.

This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page B1.