The third step in a criminal attack, Threat, is where life gets more interesting for all involved. Be prepared to recognize, acknowledge and respond to threats so you can go home safely.

No matter how good a person you are, you have threatened someone to some degree. It is an indispensable tool for good parenting when used with mildness and wisdom. Telling you kids that you are leaving and they can walk home from church is a mild and wise use of a threat.

In the case of a criminal, threatening is verbal and/or physical intimidation with the intention to control, injure and/or kill you if you do not do what they say. The communication usually is a “do this or I will…” statement or more implied like “Shut those kids up!” or “Get into the car!” The entire purpose of a threat is to make the victim consider their next actions and the consequences of them.

What do you do when faced with a life-changing threat?

Remember my advice: always stay one step ahead of the criminal (or spouse, in the case of domestic violence) to stay safe. You are always targeting for suspicious characters and testing those you feel are possibly targeting you. This step is no different. I recommend that if someone is threatening you or your loved ones with a life-changing event that you go ahead to the next step (spoiler alert) Touch without hesitation.

Are you thinking to yourself that when you are threatened you tend to freeze up instead of fight in the “fight or flight” scenario? All these years you have thought you are just weak or cowardly despite your desire to run or fight. This is probably not the case. You are suffering from the third, and lesser-known, choice in a threatening situation. It is called Tonic Immobility and is an unconscious decision made for you by your limbic system.

“Tonic immobility, characterized by profound motor inhibition, is elicited under inescapable threat in many species,” according to PubMed.gov (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/21693167/). You are not weak or cowardly. Your mind has made a snap decision that you do not have the ability or opportunity to run from nor the wherewithal to fight your way out of, so you freeze.

While training my students, we do simulated experiences that allow their adrenaline to start to pump, cueing the limbic system to make a decision. We call it “familiarizing yourself with violence.” It is not meant to make someone callous or inhumane. It is meant to give them an opportunity to have the limbic system make decisions that we want it to while our bodies are under stress. This is the same reason special forces train as hard as they do. Tonic immobility is nothing to be ashamed of.

When you are at the threat step and if you cannot get away, you need to exact serious force on this person without hesitation, mercy or stopping. Hesitation at this point can lead to serious injury, life trauma and/or death.

This is not a person threatening your PTA office or just being rude. This is a person who will take your health, feeling of safety and happiness from you if only temporarily. A man threatening a woman is, obviously, an especially dangerous situation. Do not fool around trying to talk this person down because he has issued an ultimatum.

You must have already gone through this in your mind, thought through the fear, adrenaline and consequences of your actions. Be prepared to move forward with force or else comply. There is no middle ground.

You have to decide for yourself how you will act and make sure you are actually ready to make that decision.

Let’s cover “Touch” next week. In the mean time stay sharp.