A life to remember
Brady Thompson inherited a unique arrival into the world of his Lindon family, so it was only appropriate that he receive an equally singular send-off.
The long-suffering teenager – who, in the words of his father, arrived “like a bolt out of the blue” 18 years earlier with a surprise same-day adoption offer – rode to his final resting place on Wednesday in a custom camouflage-airbrushed coffin in the back of a white GMC Sierra Z71 4×4.
If there was one theme the camo motif – topped off with blue skies, clouds and a descending eagle – couldn’t begin to disguise it was the outpouring of joyful memories shared by family members and friends during funeral services for Thompson, who died Friday after battling an undiagnosed and incurable seizure disorder for most of his life. The seizures, which came in many forms and could number in the hundreds and up to a thousand per day, eventually robbed him of many things – like being able to walk, the use of his hands, the ability to speak clearly – but it couldn’t take away his infectious smile or positive attitude.
“Brady may be one of the happiest people I have ever known – despite all odds,” said Starling Hall, bishop of the Thompson family’s local LDS congregation, during funeral remarks Wednesday.
Indeed, Brady, as he was simply known to Daily Herald readers since he was first profiled in 2007, seemed to bring out the best in others. Whether that change was effected immediately or took years to bring about, mattered not a bit to the second son of Darrell and Lori Thompson, who just wanted to be treated like a normal teenaged boy.
By his own admission, Jameson Ricks, who grew up with Brady, used to run away from him.
“I feel bad about it all the time,” said Ricks on Wednesday. “I was scared around him because we were playing and he had a seizure, and I’d run home.”
Ricks was able to hide, metaphorically speaking, over the years until he and others his age were challenged by a church leader to not only go out of their way to include Brady, but really get to know him.
Sure enough, Brady, like he has done to so many others, wore down his defenses.
“It was out of everyone’s comfort zone,” said Ricks, 18, who was one of Brady’s pallbearers. “First it was out of duty – and then it was out of love.”
Skyler Trent, another pallbearer, was pulled into the Brady vortex when he was assigned to be his buddy when Brady began attending a special needs church group in Pleasant Grove in September. Trent’s conversion was more immediate – even if he was completely unaware of what he was in for.
“I had no clue. It’s something (where) you’d have no idea how he was going to change your life,” Trent said. “He’d look at me with his big smile, and you know he’s in so much pain, but his smile is something I’ll never forget.”
Brady’s final chapter
While Brady’s health had been filled with peaks and valleys in an ever-dwindling downward spiral for several years, his quick life began winding down in earnest one week before his death.
If there was one personal possession he prized most in life, it was his Polaris 4-wheeler, which he received in 2007 from the Make-A-Wish Foundation. It was a source of much ribbing over the years from his father, Darrell, who would often verbally claim possession of the vehicle – just to elicit a belabored-but-spirited retort of “Mine!” from Brady.
It would be no exaggeration to say that some of Brady’s happiest moments came in the passenger seat of the Polaris – especially when scouting for deer and other wildlife. He and his father took their final “hunting” excursion one week before Brady’s death. Leaving around 4 p.m. on a Friday, the pair started out in the hills around Eagle Mountain.
“He would seize, and then he would come out of it and look for deer. He would seize, then come out of it again and look for deer,” said Darrell. “I knew we weren’t hunting.”
By this time, Brady was extremely weak and even speaking a single word took great effort.
“If you asked something that was a ‘No’ question, he wouldn’t answer,” said Darrell. “If it was a ‘Yeah’ question, you might get a ‘Yes.’ “
After they’d been out for a while, Darrell asked Brady, “Do you still want to go hunting?”
“Yeah” came the reply. So they changed course and headed to the mountains around Mapleton. All told, they spent between four and five hours on their final hunt.
“I, at the time, thought I was giving him one more memory to take with him of going hunting. I have little doubt now that Brady held together long enough to leave his dad with that special memory,” said Darrell. “Not until after his passing did I realize the memories I was trying to create were not for Brady. He is able to see everything and has a perfect recollection of all our memories. He was here building memories for us.”
Another of Brady’s passions, when he was up to it health-wise, was eating pizza (not to mention hamburgers and Hershey bars). His daily seizures would burn so many calories that it was nearly impossible to keep weight on his skinny frame. Whatever he did eat was usually supplemented with nutritional liquids given him via a feeding tube implanted in his stomach. Sometimes, however, he could exhibit a voracious appetite.
On his final Saturday, the day after his deer hunt, Brady had a parting gift for his mother – who had been his primary caregiver and personal advocate through the years. He let her feed him pizza.
Six slices worth!
“He had two things left to do,” said his mother Lori, “go hunting with his dad and letting me feed him pizza.”
That night and into Sunday morning, Brady suffered around 60 grand mal seizures, which Lori started documenting on Post-It pads near the bed. The Thompsons had medication to try and control the seizures, but its effectiveness waned – as would often happen after Brady’s system built up a tolerance for any specific drug treatments.
“For me, this was the time when I first suspected we were probably nearing the end,” said Darrell. “Lori had me talk to Brady’s nurse, and on the phone we made a plan to medicate Brady into a deeper sleep to give his brain a chance to rest, hoping against hope that we could beat this thing one more time – but still kind of knowing it wasn’t likely.”
It took a few hours, but the seizures slowly subsided. The whole episode, however, took its toll on Brady, who remained in a mostly unconscious holding pattern – except for a few very quick, one-word mini-conversations during the week where he answered, “Yeah” to specific questions or asked for his “Mom.”
The violent nature of the weekend’s extended grand mal seizure episode and the constant constrictions of his muscles took a physical toll on his chest – leaving his rib cage contorted and protruding upward in the center. Despite not eating any solids, Brady suffered at least one vomiting spell, which Lori was able to quell by siphoning several syringes full of bile and nutritional supplement out of his stomach through his feeding tube while family friend Sheron Drake sat behind Brady in bed and held him steady in a sitting position.
On Thursday night, unexpectedly, many people began stopping by to visit Brady.
“We didn’t want the outside world to think we were ‘crying wolf,’ since Brady had proved us wrong so many times before – so we had told almost no one what was going on,” said Darrell. “That made it even more amazing because so many of the people who came had just had the feeling that they needed to stop by and see Brady.”
One such visitor was Ricks, the young man who originally avoided Brady. He called the Thompsons on Thursday night around 10:45 and set up a visit for the following morning.
“I hung up the phone and I just got the feeling I had to go over [right] then,” said Ricks. “I was there for about three hours or more and we were all sharing memories about Brady. It was great.”
Another visitor was Joel Drake, Brady’s longtime best friend. Sensing the end was near, he and Ricks both stayed until around 2 a.m.
During a lull in the visitations earlier that evening, Darrell had the opportunity to say his final goodbyes.
“I just laid on the bed next to him, talked to him and enjoyed the moment,” Darrell said. “I stroked his head, kissed his cheek and told him all the things we said to him dozens of times over the past few years: That he is the toughest kid I ever met, that he truly is 10-foot tall and bulletproof, that he is amazing, that I love him forever and so does his Heavenly Father, that I would miss him terribly and, finally, that it was OK to move on and we would meet again.”
After all the visitors left, Brady’s youngest brother, Austin, climbed into bed next to Brady, put his arm over him and fell asleep. Lori laid on Brady’s other side with her arm on his chest as well, maintaining a constant vigil, while Darrell moved over to Brady’s nearby hospital bed.
“Whatever sleep I got that night was interrupted many times as I would listen in the quiet of the night for the sound of Brady’s labored breathing,” Darrell said. Lori “woke me to say that she thought Brady was leaving us. By the time I laid down beside him and put my hand on his chest, he was gone.”
The quick life of Brady Thompson came to an end at 6:11 a.m. Finally, he would suffer no more seizures.
’Tender mercies'
As his hospice nurse of three years, Sharon Jones was the one person who was paid to not become attached to Brady. Even she could not accomplish the feat.
“He absolutely sucks you in,” said Jones. “He’s just that type of young man that just sucks all the energy right out of you.”
Jones went above and beyond with Brady, even inviting the Thompsons along on jeep trips to Moab and West Mountain, and tubing on Utah Lake. The latter outing turned out to be extremely memorable.
Jones understood the Thompsons’ concerns with having Brady in the water and helped him enjoy a safe tube ride with his mother. But that wasn’t the best part.
“In the middle of the lake, we all got out and took a swim,” said Lori. “We took one life jacket and put his legs through it, and the other one was worn the regular way. She held Brady up for me and made sure he didn’t breathe in water – and Brady kicked and kicked those long legs for 20 minutes. He was breathing hard and we would think he was done, and then he would start kicking a moment later. I have lived next to the lake for about 25 years, and I have never been in it before. She always watched out for his safety, but helped give him and us special memories.”
The special memories went both ways, as Jones recalled many great experiences with Brady, including playing Frisbee, feeding him a hamburger, and shaking their booties together (as Brady referred to dancing).
“One day I asked him, ‘Brady, won’t you give me a kiss?’ He slobbered all over me, and it was the best kiss of all,” Jones said.
“I know [Sharon] was sent to us as one of those ‘tender mercies’ people talk about,” Lori said. “We became friends and I see her as family. … She has the motto, ‘I have a choice today. I can be sad or I can be happy. I choose happy.’ That is also how we have lived, so she was the perfect fit. We said if she retired, we would go off hospice. She had wisdom for us, laughed with us and cried with us.”
Conclusion
For years, Darrell Thompson has made a habit of saving the last clear voice mail message on his cell phone from Brady, in his stammering, halting voice – because he was never sure when it would be the last one.
Three years ago, the message was, “Hi, Dad, this is Brady. Call me back. Bye.”
Two years ago, it was shortened to, “Hi, Dad. Call me back. Bye.”
Two weeks ago, the saved message only said, “Dad.”
A week ago, however, Darrell’s phone started giving him problems. He was literally on the way to his cell phone provider to get his phone checked out, when he flipped it open to a blank screen. Several subsequent openings and closings delivered similar results.
Darrell’s brother Marv Thompson took it to the phone provider after Brady died, in the hopes of retrieving the message.
The end result? The message was lost.
“I can hear it in my head,” Darrell said of the final message. “I guess that will have to be enough.”
That … and a million memories.
BradyThompson touched more lives in 18 short years than most people willin lifetimes lasting four times as long.
His story not only resonated in Utah Valley, but, thanks inlarge part to the Internet, literally provided inspiration aroundthe world — as evidenced in the final week of his life when hereceived a United States flag that recently was flown in Iraq. Asquadron of soldiers stationed there had read about him and wantedto show their honor and support for his struggle.
When the Daily Herald first met with Brady and his parents,Darrell and Lori Thompson, it was envisioned to be the beginning ofa project that would follow the final six months of a teenager inhospice care.
In this case, however, there was a huge gap between “envision”and “vision” — as Brady’s incredible will to live, and the joy hefound in the simple pleasures of life along the way — changed theoverall view of his story. Instead of documenting despair, thestory became one of hope, service and friendship.
Brady not only fought his way past the six-month window, but hewilled himself to an additional 1,152 days beyond that.
And as the following highlights can attest, those were days wellspent.
• Brady’s inspiring battle touched the community in unforeseenways. For one, his story has been used in school classrooms as away to open discussions about how to relate to children withdisabilities.
• Boys in the final minutes of a church basketball game putaside all thoughts of scoreboard — and helped Brady not only playin the final minutes of their game, but also made it their missionto help him score a basket. When, after numerous errant attempts,he finally sank a shot, fans of both teams throughout the gymerupted into wild cheering and applause.
• In December of 2008, Brady was recognized as a Thursday’s Heroby the BYU football team, making him an honorary member of a teamled by quarterback Max Hall and wide receiver Austin Collie, whoboth spent one-on-one time with the excited youth after practice.Coach Bronco Mendenhall gave Brady his own ballcap — which remaineda prized possession through the rest of his life.
• Brady was a guest of honor at the 2009 Running With Angels 5K,releasing several cages of doves at the starting line to begin therace.
• Brady achieved his last remaining goal on July 6, when hereceived his Eagle Scout award in an emotional court of honor.Despite short notice, around 100 people showed up in late June toparticipate in Brady’s Eagle Scout project — painting fire hydrantsin several neighborhoods near his Lindon home.
• BYU filmed a documentary on Brady in August, which requiredre-enactments of such highlights as the aforementioned basketballgame as well as his court of honor. It is expected to air inJanuary.
In some ways, the twists and turns of Brady’s life almost seemscripted out of a movie. The Thompsons couldn’t help but wonderwhat others thought about some of the more incredible aspects ofBrady’s story.
In the end, it didn’t matter.
“I figured out a long time ago that those who know us, and thosewho know Brady, ‘get it’ when it came to Brady,” said Darrell. “Hehad things to do here. He had people to touch in ways we couldnever dream. This was never Darrell’s or Lori’s story, it wasBrady’s. But when we committed to having it told, for better orworse, we had to be the ones to tell it.”
Friends and family were never at a loss for words when talkingabout Brady Thompson. (Although newspaper stories are often at aloss for space.) Here are additional comments and stories about theLindon teen who touched the lives of so many.
From family friend Sheron Drake: “Each of mychildren have seen the face of adversity met with optimism andenthusiasm from Brady. Every moment meant something special to himno matter how horrific his circumstance. He showed us all that lifeis indeed worth living. Nothing is impossible. He has touched eachof us with his courage, humor, strength and love. He has influencedmy kids by his incredible determination to attend all of his churchmeetings even if he feels horrible. To him, it was as if he wasmeeting the Savior every week and didn’t want to miss thatopportunity for anything. My younger kids loved him just as much asJoel did. Jared and Jessica looked up to him as the ultimateexample of how to face difficult things and just do anythinganyway. For me, I found myself going to the Thompsons not only tosee Lori, but to sit by Brady for comfort. No one ever knew that.Some days, I just needed him. I have no way to explain it, I justneeded his strength. When I felt I had burdens I couldn’t handle,all it took was to just go sit with him. It made things so mucheasier for me to face.”
From family friend Deny Farnworth: “I rememberwell, about two months ago I was at Home Depot and I turned to seeBrady’s dad pushing him across the store, and when Brady saw me,[there was] that smile and a squeal from his voice from across thestore. We embraced and I remember looking around at the people andthe stares at the drool on my shirt and how could I let thathappen. But, you see, they didn’t get it. And my only wish is thatthey all would get it. … It’s not about the tangible items thatwe acquire, but what we do with them — serve others. That was hisgoal in life.”
Hospice nurse Sharon Jones: “Brady and I havesome [great memories] from throwing Frisbees. He would always throwit over my head and laugh like a loon. Way far and high,intentionally. And this was in between seizures. He’d throw andseize, throw and seize.”
From family friend Ken Drake: “Things Bradytaught me”:
1. Pizza is good … chocolate is better.
2. Lock your doors if you don’t want your refrigerator raidedmysteriously.
3. Road rash can be fashionable.
4. Hospitals are not fun places.
5. Doctors are not infallible.
6. Letting others serve you is OK sometimes (they may need theblessings more than you do).
7. Good friends are a rare and precious gift.
8. Cement is not friendly to seizures ‹ or heads.
9. A picture is worth 1,000 words, a smile is worth1,000,000.
10. Have no fear to try anything and everything your heartdesires. If you fail, so what, the joy is in the trying.
11. Passing the sacrament is a privilege, not a chore.
12. Drool can get in the strangest places.
13. My children can be very sensitive, caring and loving(contrary to prevailing opinion).
Friend Skyler Trent: “He changed my life for the best and I’lldo everything to honor his life.”
Friend Jameson Ricks: “Brady has just been suchan example. Sometimes I’m unhappy. But Brady … he was happy allthe time. He just wanted to be a normal kid and that’s what hedid.”
Hospice nurse Jones: “One thing that wasspecial about Brady was the love he had for his mom and dad. Hewould say ’Dad’ in a way I’ve never heard it spoken. And just theway he would look at Lori ‹ you could just see the love connectionbetween the two of them. He was her prince and she was hisprincess. It was nothing spoken, it was just the way he looked ather.”
From Sheron Drake: “What an opportunity we havehad! To be around someone so perfect, and close to God. The humorto keep us grounded, the pull of his smile and laughter make lifeso worth living. He makes you want to be a better person, fulfillgoals and reach those impossible things you think you just can’tdo. He literally did everything he ever wanted to do. That isawesome.”
From Brady’s older brother, Jordan Thompson:”Though the last few years had been tough on all of us, Bradyseemed to take them in stride. He seldom was truly annoyed with useven when he couldn’t exactly get across the message. Though thatlast glimpse of him isn’t the one I’ll remember as being his best.I remember him being just another kid, a kid who loved going fastand looking for animals. Fiercely independent and always wanting todo things for himself. This often tended to result in injuries tohim and property as well.
“He enjoyed smiling, and when he did it felt as though nothingwould be sad again. I suppose we got greedy, we depended on thatsmile to brighten our days forgetting what a tenuous thing it was.I always got a kick when I’d make a joke and 30 seconds later hewould just laugh and laugh. The best at getting Brady to completelylose it to giggles was Dad. Dad would make a joke that might beseen as inappropriate and Brady would do his very original giggleuntil his eyes would tear.
“He made it impossible not to love him, even the kids who teasedhim and left him behind as his condition got worse grew to love himagain as they gained maturity. Brady had an overwhelming ability toforgive. It seemed that no matter what trespass you may have madethe only thing you needed for him to forget it ever happened was anapology and a hug. However, it’s worth mentioning that thisattitude did not extend to nurses who lied to Brady about a shothurting. He hated shots, and all he really wanted was honesty.
“Anyone who knew Brady should count themselves lucky, I know Ido. I confess that I feel to have squandered some of the time I wasgiven with Brady when he was still merely my annoying littlebrother. Though later he was an inspiration and a shaping force inmy adult life, at the time he was extremely bothersome. Betweentromping off behind me to come with two friends and hisfrustratingly realistic fake cry, he managed to make me veryfrustrated.
“Brady, I’ll love you forever. You changed my life in more waysthan I’ll ever express, and I know that there is a special placebeyond this one where you can be happy and whole like all thepeople whose lives you made better. I miss you and HappyHunting!”
