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Everyday Strong: School resources available for students with unmet needs

By Anna Paletua - Special to the Daily Herald | Aug 13, 2022

Courtesy Adobe Stock

Parents who believe their children are not receiving the proper support at school should reach out to teachers, counselors or administrators.

Imagine you’re a parent of a 13-year-old who doesn’t do their homework, fights in the car every morning and throws a tantrum, skipping school. Your frustration grows and you feel helpless. This is where schools get involved.

Parents have a massive role in influencing their children. But other people like teachers, church leaders and sports coaches also affect them. What happens when they become resistant to what you know your child needs? Sometimes the school doesn’t seem to have time to meet your and your child’s needs.

So how do you get your child’s teacher on the same page as you?

As a licensed social worker and mother of a child with special needs, Jenny has been on both sides of the issue. She offers her professional and personal experience to advise parents on dealing with these challenging situations, where you know what your child needs but are met with resistant authoritative leaders.

She specializes in helping parents collaborate with the school to figure out a plan that will work for everyone. She was in a situation where she felt she wasn’t getting her needs met. She had some concerns about her son not receiving proper care and school leaders weren’t hearing her.

She solved this issue by respecting the chain of command. Talking directly with the teacher can resolve most issues. If more involvement is needed, reach out to the next person in authority, like a counselor or administrator.

Don’t be afraid to seek out support. There is support available for you at the school and district levels. Take some time to learn the roles and responsibilities of people in student and family services positions. For example, there are area directors, who are essentially in charge of administrators. There are district-level support services for children with special needs and those who aren’t especially educated. There are people whose designated job is to hear your story.

Remember to give teachers and administrators the benefit of the doubt. They have many responsibilities and often feel overwhelmed. You can be assertive and speak with kindness while voicing your concerns.

Jenny offers this advice when your child refuses to go to school, throws tantrums or has trouble adjusting to school and making friends. She says to look at your child’s unwanted behavior not as something that needs to be fixed but as something you can look at and resolve.

Trying to solve bad behaviors with the understanding that unmet needs result in bad behavior will drastically make your parenting more effective. Behaviors are never easy to change. So if your child is struggling with school, an unmet need needs to be met. Have a safe conversation with them to understand better why they engage in this behavior, what they want to gain, and what you can do to make it a safer and more positive experience.

Listen now to learn how to have a better conversation and what actions you can take to support your kid.

United Way of Utah County is on a mission to help every child in our community feel safe, connected and confident. You can listen to our latest podcast episode at anchor.fm/everydaystrong (or on Apple Podcast and Spotify). Learn more about us at everydaystrong.org.

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