An article from Harvard Health said that: “Dozens of studies have shown that people who have social support from family, friends, and their community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer. Conversely, a relative lack of social ties is associated with depression and later-life cognitive decline, as well as with increased mortality.”

Relationships are at the center of our lives. When I think back at the happy memories in my past, they all involve other people. When I go through a happy or sad experience, I want to share it with someone. That’s human nature.

The people you spend the most time with, don’t just contribute to your memories, they shape who you become. They influence your attitudes, habits, and behaviors. In “The Compound Effect,” Darren Hardy wrote, “according to research by social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, [the people you habitually associate with] determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.”

Good, quality connections contribute to your health and happiness, and they influence the course of your life. With the business of life, social media and other technology, however, you may have found yourself with a lot of superficial friendships — but fewer deep relationships. In the words of author Jen Michel Pollock, “Our connections have grown broader, but shallower.”

It is clear that relationships matter, but what can you do to establish deeper, quality connections?

Be intentional about spending time with people who embody values you aspire to, and try to eliminate or decrease time, with people who pull you down. Actively construct your social environment. Don’t let it depend on proximity or chance or on how it has always been. Intentionally determine what opinions, attitudes and philosophies you allow into your life.

• Value your current relationships
• Don’t take the people in your life for granted
• Show genuine appreciation for your friends and family members
• Invest in the relationships around you
• Show genuine interest in what they are interested in
• Look for the good instead of being critical
• Intentionally spend quality time with people you care about

Here is an example from my life. When our kids were teens, they were so involved with friends, work and extracurricular activities, it became increasingly difficult to spend time together as a family. My husband and I decided that we were going to have a family activity night one night a week.

Each week, we would rotate through family members to choose the activity. There were 3 rules:

1. The activity couldn’t cost more than a certain amount per person.
2. No one could complain about someone else’s activity choice.
3. No cell phones were allowed.

This was one of the best things we did. Our kids loved it and rarely missed an activity. Without the distraction of cell phones, and intentionally spending this time together each week, we really  deepened our relationships.

The people you surround yourself with affect your health and happiness, whether positively or negatively, and they are possibly the biggest influence on your behavior, attitudes and results. With so much riding on your relationships, doesn’t it make sense to be purposeful in creating and strengthening positive relationships? Be deliberate when choosing who you spend your time with, value the people in your life, and invest in your relationships. At the end of your life, what will have mattered the most is not things you have acquired, but the relationships and connections you have built and strengthened.