Who do you want to become this upcoming year? So often with a new year we set resolutions thinking about all the things we want to have, like a new house, or to do, like lose 20 pounds. Instead, what if this year you contemplated who you want to become.

If you remember studying Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in psychology class, the pinnacle of his needs pyramid is, “self-actualization — the desire to be the most one can become.”

When you aren’t growing, and improving, it feels like something is missing in your life.

Goals are important, but often the reason we fail to stick with a goal is because we choose the wrong goals, or we haven’t established habits to support our desired changes.

This year, try an inside-out approach by choosing goals and implementing habits based on your values.

The first step to becoming your best self is to determine what you truly value in each area of your life. In order to set the right goals for you right now, you need to determine what is important to you. You implement habits based on your values and those habits then become part of your identity.

When something becomes part of your identity, it is easier to act in alignment with it.

For example, I have friends who have the habit of running every morning — rain, shine, snow, freezing temperatures, while traveling — it doesn’t matter. They just get up and run. It’s something they have decided. It is not only a habit, it’s part of their identity. They are runners. They don’t wake up each morning and ask themselves: “Do I want to go running today?” “Do I have time?” “Do I feel like running?” No. For them, the decision has already been made. They don’t have to waste any energy debating with themselves.

You may start something based on motivation, but you stick with it because it becomes part of your identity and lifestyle.

The second step to becoming your best self is to determine what small, regular actions support that value. When you set up positive routines around your values and goals, it shifts the momentum in your life and contributes greatly to your joy and fulfillment. Starting small makes the action easier to do. If it is easier, you are more likely to do it.

In B.J. Fogg’s book, “Tiny Habits,” he says, “Keeping changes small and expectations low is how you design around fair-weather friends like motivation and willpower. When something is tiny, it is easy to do – which means you don’t need to rely on the unreliable nature of motivation.”

What regular actions could you commit to today that would take you closer to one of your ideals?

The third step to becoming your best self is to link your new behavior with something. Either link it with something you already do routinely, like go to the gym right after you drop kids off at school, or connect it with a specific place and time, like writing each morning in your office from 10 a.m. until noon.

It doesn’t matter how “successful” you are right now. What matters is that you are on the road to success. When you shift your direction toward your values through daily positive habits, even just slightly, you can massively change your destination.

This year, choose an inside-out approach to goal setting. Decide who you want to become. Get clear about what you value, incorporate small, simple habits and routines that support this value, and link these habits with something so stick with them. Make these new habits part of your identity and change the direction for your life. Make this the year you become your best self!

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