Isaac Hale, Daily Herald file photo

Author Gregg Levoy once wrote this about his brother — “He is my most beloved friend and my bitterest rival, my confidant and my betrayer, my sustainer and my dependent, and scariest of all, my equal.”

The relationships between siblings, though often complicated, can have a huge impact on a person’s life.

Amy Morin with Verywell Family says, “Siblings are integral in teaching one another how to interact socially.” Compared to parents, “siblings are better role models of the more informal behaviors — how to act at school or on the street, or, most important, how to act cool around friends — that constitute the bulk of a child’s everyday experiences.”

In the same 2021 article, “How to Create Stronger Bonds Among Siblings,” Morin references research showing that children with siblings tend to have a leg up on only children in many ways.

They tend to have better social skills because sibling interactions teach children how to share, compromise and work together.

Sammy Jo Hester, Daily Herald file photo

Adults who grew up with siblings tend to divorce less often, suggesting that sibling relationships may help develop skills that make individuals better partners.

Children who have older siblings also tend to be inspired by them and emulate their examples.

All of these positive outcomes are good news for children with siblings. However, the benefits hinge on the quality of the relationships.

According to a study published in Journal of Family Issues, “Tense siblings relationships can be destructive,” leading to adolescent depression and anxiety. And just as siblings may follow in the footsteps of older siblings in healthy ways, they may also emulate their poor choices.

So how do we as parents help our children foster healthy relationships with their siblings? Firstly, it is important to remember that disagreements between siblings are common and normal.

Often, it is through these disagreements that children learn important social skills. But sibling rivalries can go too far. If the interactions are always or almost always negative, or if physical/emotional harm is being done, it is time to intervene.

There are things that parents can do to help improve their children’s relationships including:

Avoiding showing favoritism — Jealousy and resentment can be exacerbated if a child perceives their parents love one sibling more than another.

Modeling positive communication — If you want your children to be respectful, you should model that behavior.

Providing personal space — In their article, “Siblings 101,” Aha! Parenting.com reminds us, “Siblings have to share parents, toys, family time, and the spotlight, which is a lot to share. Sharing a room can foster closeness between siblings, but it can also be just too much sharing, especially for children who have very different temperaments.”

If sharing a bedroom is a necessity, giving a child their own cupboard or other safe space for possessions can be helpful.

Having positive time together — Verywell Family explains, “When kids are laughing and having fun, they experience more positive feelings. And when they experience these positive feelings alongside their siblings, they’ll feel more positive about one another. So schedule regular activities that will help your kids bond.”

There are many other actions parents can take to encourage closeness among their children. Learn what these are by listening to the most recent EveryDay Strong Podcast mini-episode and reading the articles referenced there.

United Way of Utah County is on a mission to help every child in our community feel safe, connected, and confident. You can listen to our latest podcast episode at anchor.fm/everydaystrong (or on Apple Podcast and Spotify). Learn more about us at everydaystrong.org.