What do you do when your children complain they’re bored? Drop what you’re doing and head to the pool or trampoline park? List off 10 suggestions of things to do that will certainly be poorly received? Threaten to assign chores to fill their free time?

When my kids were young and told me they were bored, I usually felt a bit of jealousy, wishing I had absolutely nothing to do. And, in truth, boredom can be a good thing.

Erin Westgate, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Florida, told Catherine Pearson of The New York Times, “Guarding kids from ever feeling bored is misguided in the same way that guarding kids from ever feeling sad, or ever feeling frustrated, or ever feeling angry is misguided.”

She explains that boredom is like a warning light on a car dashboard. “Boredom is telling you that what you’re doing right now isn’t working.” These feelings can lead to children using their creativity and experimenting with different pursuits that may or may not interest them.

Social scientists say that children who are allowed to experience boredom benefit in several ways:

• They learn to tolerate circumstances that are not ideal for them.
• They learn to plan, problem-solve, organize and be flexible.
• They develop creativity, self-esteem and original thinking.

The Child Mind Institute quotes clinical psychologist Stephanie Lee, who says, “The key is to help kids learn how to manage their boredom so they can develop independence and feel agency over their own happiness and well-being.”

She advises parents to pay attention to what their children are actually saying when they say they’re bored. They may be hungry or looking for attention, or they may be looking for something to do. You should obviously feed them if that’s what the problem is. But jumping in to entertain them at every sign of boredom can rob them of the opportunity to learn to do it for themselves. Lee suggests getting ahead of complaints by sitting down together and making an activity chart they can reference. Having a daily routine also helps.

It is important to be realistic about how long your child can entertain themselves. Providing planned activities, spending time together and even allowing entertainment on electronic devices aren’t necessarily bad things. As with most things in life, moderation is important.

Lee says parents should look at boredom as an opportunity to try something new, increase tolerance for frustration, learn problem-solving and perseverance, and get to know more about themselves. Children will pick up on your attitude. When they say they’re bored, tell them that’s great and you can’t wait to see what they will do!

United Way of Utah County is on a mission to help every child in our community feel safe, connected and confident. You can listen to our latest podcast episode at anchor.fm/everydaystrong (or on Apple Podcast and Spotify). Learn more about us at everydaystrong.org.