Making a Difference: Simply a Miracle assisting parents through the pain of losing a baby
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- Children point to a name on a memorial board displayed during the 2024 Charity Fun Run for Infant Loss Support. The board featured the names of hundreds of babies who died over the past seven years.
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- After the tragic loss of their son Sam, Amanda and Adam Wilcock decided to create a nonprofit organization through which they could assist other couples navigating the grief and practical realities of losing a baby.
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- Amanda and Adam Wilcock, front center, pose with supporters during the 2024 Charity Fun Run for Infant Loss Support.
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- Darrel L. Hammon
Amanda and Adam Wilcock, two typical Utah college students, met at Southern Utah University, dated, fell in love, married, planted roots in Cedar City and finished school.
“Our story didn’t go as planned,” Amanda said. “But after three years of trying, we got pregnant.”
They began to settle in and were excited about the birth of their miraculous son. Amanda’s pregnancy was picture perfect until January 2018 when Sam was born via C-section. Then the problems began.
Little Sam was quickly Life Flighted to a larger hospital. He had been without oxygen too long and had no significant brain function, but Amanda and Adam felt peace.
“We were blessed with quick confirmation and peace that it was his time to go,” Amanda said. “We chose to take him off life support. Before we did, we spent the day with him. Sam met his grandparents, aunts and uncles.”
Before too long, a hospital social worker gave them the paperwork for various funeral homes. For both Amanda and Adam, it was stressful and overwhelming, and the grief and the healing were all they could focus on.
“At the time, we were not prepared to focus on the logistics and finances. While we had lots of support, it was still excruciating and just awful,” Amanda said. “We knew right away that we wanted to do something to help other families in similar situations, especially those who didn’t have the support we did.”
Eight months later, Amanda and Adam used Sam’s initials to create Simply a Miracle, a nonprofit organization with a mission to provide emotional and financial support to families that have experienced the loss of a baby. “In our story, even as tragic as the outcome, we saw so many miracles, which touched our hearts to see so much more was at work to help others like us,” Amanda said.
Their initial fundraiser netted $1,000. “People were so great and supportive of the cause,” Amanda said. “People are so eager to support and are grateful to have a way to do something. The money allowed us to help our first family with a headstone.”
The majority of the families seeking help come through personal referrals, neighbors, friends or family members. Usually, families begin reaching out a few weeks after the loss of their child when they are beginning to breathe again. They fill out an application on the organization’s website: simplyamiracle.com.
Once a family is approved, Simply a Miracle provides funds to pay costs directly related to the loss of the child. “Over time, we have become familiar with providers and costs,” Amanda said. “We pay what we can. Situations are different, and we base our judgment on those situations. We will always do something, and sometimes we are able to make a bigger impact.”
Even with funds to help, hospital costs are often astronomical. For example, six months ago, a family contacted Simply a Miracle after their baby was born and stayed in a neonatal intensive care unit, or NICU, for 28 days. The family had no insurance. The total bill ballooned to over $500,000.
“We told them we didn’t have the funds to make a dent in that,” Amanda said, “We helped the mom walk through a variety of programs and talk to financial aid at the hospital. Ultimately, much of the bill was forgiven, and we stepped in and helped with remaining bills.”
Providing financial aid helps families grieve and eases their worry about the financial portion. Most do not have the bandwidth because of everything going on.
“We know how sensitive the situation is when we reach out via phone or social media. We tell them how sorry we are for their loss,” Amanda said. “We tell them if they need us, we can be a resource. We send each family an individualized care package and leave the ball in their court.”
To Beth, a mother from southern Utah, help from Simply a Miracle was so much more than just financial. “While financial support was wonderful, it was the emotional support that created an ongoing relationship,” she said, “We had been home from the hospital for a few days, and Amanda and Adam showed up on our doorstep. We received comfort from someone who understood exactly what we were feeling. Relationships are so much more impactful than a check.”
Any crisis, and especially losing a baby, requires ongoing care. “Granted, for a few weeks, people show up on the doorstep. After a while, people return to their lives and that level of attention diminishes,” Amanda said. “The key is to keep in touch, even a call now and then. We encourage people, pray for them and let them know we are here.”
Families greatly appreciate what Simply a Miracle does for them. Some have commented that it has helped grow their family in the future or it has reduced the burdens in their lives. One mother said, “You have taken away so much of the stress that has been weighing us down. Now we can move forward.”
Before Emily and Darren had a child who passed away, Emily knew about Simply a Miracle and had referred several families. When her baby died, she didn’t feel she could reach out. However, Amanda reached out and initiated the contact. For that, Emily was extremely grateful.
“I feel more confident in referring more people,” said Emily. “Now that they have done it for me, I know that they will help others in a similar fashion. They want to help people in some way and care deeply about their mission.”
Beth and Caleb were referred to the organization when their daughter was born. It was an emergency C-section, and little Claire was placed in the NICU for three days before they decided to let her go.
“One challenge for us was that we were in the hospital during COVID, which meant only my husband could come in,” Beth said. “When we decided to let her go, the hospital allowed our mothers and our two children to come in for a short time. They couldn’t touch or hold her.”
Amanda and Adam have learned much along their journey. “We have connected to so many people and shared heart-breaking stories,” Amanda said. “Having a baby in heaven gives us a different perspective. Some things in life matter more than others. Families matter.”
Over the past six years, Amanda has noticed some things have changed for the better. “The subject of loss has become less and less taboo,” she said. “Decades ago, when a woman lost a baby or miscarried, they weren’t allowed to see the baby or even talk about it. They held it in their hearts. Now, people are much more open about it.”
Emily, a young mother who has experienced several miscarriages and is a recipient of help from Simply a Miracle, discovered something new when she lost a baby.
“When my mother swooped in from Texas to help, I learned so many things about her life,” Emily said. “I knew she had miscarriages but didn’t know much about them. After the death of our baby, she said something profound: ‘You never forget your losses.’ It was then I realized that my mother had infertility and traumatic experiences, and she knew how it was to have babies and lose babies.”
Simply a Miracle’s secret power continues to be working one-on-one with people who have experienced loss and trauma.
“My favorite thing to do with people is to help them find space to grieve,” Amanda said. “We have found that if you can give yourself permission to be happy or sad, you flow through the grieving phase much more fluidly. With only so much mental and emotional capacity, we all do our best. It’s going to be OK.”
Simply a Miracle’s ongoing message is poignant and inviting. “Don’t disqualify yourself when thinking about reaching out for help. Just reach out. We care about and want to support every situation in some way. There are others in the world who know how you are feeling right now. You really matter,” Amanda said.
To contact, make a referral or donate to Simply a Miracle, call 435-901-4463, send a message to simplyamiraclecompany@gmail.com or visit simplyamiracle.com.
