“Most fundamentally, what people need is their physical needs to be met. Without physical needs being cared for, the rest of Maslow’s Needs pyramid is really hard to make progress in. If we start at the bottom and work our way up, we’ll all be better off.” — Dr. Matt Swenson, MD, child psychiatrist and EveryDay Strong co-founder

One memory I have as a teenager was when my mom, sister and I were standing in a park in New York City. It was about 11 in the morning and hot. We had just ridden nearly an hour on the subway, and now we were supposed to be discussing what to do first on our “girls’ trip” itinerary.

My younger sister didn’t like any of the options. After a while, I got snippy; she had no suggestions herself, and I wanted to start moving somewhere. She stormed off around the corner while I sat on a ledge.

My mother sighed, and she suggested we go to lunch and make the decision later.

“The women in our family get very hangry,” she told me. “And when we get hangry, we can’t make decisions. Let’s make sure we’re eating frequently on this trip so we can all actually get along.”

So we grabbed some pizza, and the rest of the day is lost to memory.

Turn ‘hangry’ into ‘happy’

You’ve probably had your own version of this story — maybe even from earlier today! But, for me, that conversation in New York was the first time it really “clicked” for me that hunger can, and does, negatively affect cooperation and collaboration.

As we all know, feeling hungry, tired, stifled or overwhelmed are universal experiences based on our bodies’ needs. We also know that these feelings can inhibit us from working with and feeling connected to others.

When mental illness is involved, these emotions become exacerbated and sometimes overwhelming.

Sometimes we don’t know how to help the prickly and irritable teenager, the anxious preteen or the depressed student in front of us. We want to help but are unsure whether we’re going to help or harm.

That’s why we have a section addressing physical needs in our EveryDay Strong Resilience Handbook.

Think of old ideas in new ways

We know that physical needs aren’t a new concept. But we’re not telling you to make sure your kids get exercise, eight hours of sleep and three healthy meals a day. (While all of those things are important, we’re assuming you already know them!)

Many of our physical needs, especially for kids struggling with mental illness, are nuanced or overlooked. For example, in the handbook, we talk about sensory stimulation, movement and energy, good breathing practices and dealing with pain.

Whether we’re a parent, teacher, mentor or neighbor, we can build an essential foundation to emotional wellbeing when we ensure physical safety and health — both for ourselves and for our kids.