Do you ever have to remind your child to do something so many times that you sound like a broken record? Have you ever wondered why they seem to be so reluctant to listen? You’re not alone if you’ve felt this way as this is one of the most common questions asked by parents of young children. Luckily, there are some simple changes you can make to teach your child to listen.

The most important thing you can do to encourage your child to listen to you is to listen to your child. Children who are securely attached and have a positive relationship with their parents tend to be more compliant. Try taking five minutes each day to spend one-on-one time with your child doing whatever they want to do. This special time strengthens your relationship and makes your child more willing to listen to you.

When it comes to asking your child to do something, it works wonders to be physically present in the room with the child, get down on their level, make eye contact and gesture to exactly what you want them to do. If you want to be extra sure they heard you, ask the child to repeat back to you what you asked them.

You also encourage obedience when you use a calm, firm voice, break down complex tasks into simple steps and use direct commands. “Put your blocks in the bin” might sound blunt, but it’s easier for a young child to understand than “Your room is really messy. Can you please clean up now?”

Try to tell your child what they should do rather than what they shouldn’t do. Instead of “Don’t yell,” say “Use your indoor voice.” This is easier for children to understand.

If your child struggles with transitioning between activities, it might help to connect the transition to their play. For example, if it is almost time to leave, maybe let your child know it’s time for the dolls to go to bed or let them choose one toy to bring in the car.

Finally, make sure to reward your child for listening right away using praise, attention or a smile.

Some children, especially those who are neurodivergent, might need even more specific instructions and guidance to understand what you want them to do. If you think your child may be neurodivergent or have other parenting questions, consider enrolling in United Way’s no-cost parenting program Help Me Grow Utah.

Parents who enroll in Help Me Grow Utah are connected to a parent support specialist who can answer their questions, connect them to resources and assist in taking developmental screenings. To sign up, go to helpmegrowutah.org/parents/.

Avery Stonely is the EveryDay Learners operations coordinator for United Way of Utah County.