There are numerous studies suggesting the lasting impact on health that childhood trauma can have. One, in particular, is the ACEs Study conducted by Dr. Robert Anda from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and Dr. Vincent Felitti of Kaiser Permanente.

According to the CDC, Adverse Childhood Experiences, or “ACEs,” is a term used to describe any traumatic event that occurred in childhood (0-17 years). ACEs could be anything from violence, abuse, neglect or death to an environment that undermines a child’s sense of bonding such as growing up in a home with substance abuse, mental health problems or parental instability. Such experiences have been linked to risky behaviors and chronic health conditions.

The amount of ACEs a child has had determines the probability for these outcomes. However, the presence of ACEs does not guarantee a child will experience poor outcomes later in life. The positive experiences a child has can be a protective factor against negative health outcomes. One major positive experience, and one that can help protect against negative outcomes later, is youth connection to caring adults and activities.

The positive experiences a child has can be a protective factor against negative health outcomes. When our child, or a child we know, has experienced trauma in their childhood, it can be difficult to know how to help that child be successful. So how can we help?

Ilse DeKoeyer-Laros, an assistant professor at the University of Utah Psychology Department and child development specialist at Help Me Grow Utah, suggests noticing their needs. What does a person need? Beyond physical needs like food, water, shelter and sleep, a person needs to feel safe, connected and confident.

Here are a few ways we can help.

Help them feel safe by staying calm

One of the best ways to help a child feel safe, especially if they’ve experienced trauma, is to understand that they may be more reactive to small triggers and to stay calm. DeKoeyer-Laros says, “Understand that children might overreact, then stay calm yourself. If there is a parent or other adult acting stressed, that communicates to the child that something is not safe, or there’s a threat. This leaves the child feeling more unsafe.”

Children have big feelings without the ability to express them. This can be heightened if a child has experienced trauma. Thus, as the adult, staying calm when our children experience big feelings can be one way to ensure they feel safe to express themselves.

Insist and persist on connecting

Connection between children and parents and other caring adults is a major protective factor for future negative outcomes. These connections become even more important as a child enters their adolescent years. The connections we create in their early years become the foundation for our relationships later in that child’s life.

One major way to ensure a child’s need for connection is met is through insisting and persisting on connection. These connections do not have to be large vacations or extravagant gestures. They can be as simple as a conversation, an activity or even a smile or hug.

Connection between children and parents and other caring adults is a major protective factor for future negative outcomes. The most important thing is that it is consistent. These persistent and simple efforts made by adults every day can make the biggest difference on a child’s need to feel connected.

Build confidence by expressing confidence

One way to build confidence is to express confidence often. As a parent or caring adult, we have a strong influence on how confident our child feels in themselves. We can help by expressing confidence in them.

The next time your child comes to you with a problem, don’t be too quick to try to solve it. Simply listening to and encouraging them by expressing how much you believe in them will be enough to build their confidence to solve their problem.

While there are various ways we can help a child who is struggling, consistently ensuring a child feels safe, connected and confident every day is one way we can help ensure a child has positive outcomes for their future.