Guest opinion: Neighbors can — and must — learn to talk about politics, without a fight.
For the past six years, before each November election, my neighbors and I have gathered in a home or backyard, shared some good food, and discussed candidates and the issues on our ballots. It’s always been productive and helpful, and we’ve left more informed while also maintaining positive feelings for each other. It is possible. Particularly at this very tense time in our nation, it is even more essential that we practice listening to and talking with our neighbors about complex topics.
There are issues on which my neighbors and I agree, and others where we disagree. My neighbors have valuable perspectives due to their personal experiences or professional training that I might not be aware of if I didn’t speak to them and listen to what they have to say.
The secrets to our success? We always start with three basic ground rules. First, we commit to staying curious and open-minded, even when we disagree. Second, we promise to let everyone have a chance to speak and not let anyone dominate the conversation. Third, we remind ourselves that our purpose is to learn, not to prove anyone right or wrong.
Sometimes we skip a particularly contentious partisan race and don’t discuss it at all. Instead, we focus on the many state and local elected offices that most of us are not familiar with. Crowdsourcing the research and then sharing at these events helps us make informed decisions.
Many Utahns might avoid political discussions with neighbors because they worry that doing so might be contentious or uncomfortable. Instead of avoidance, our state and country need more active participation and discussion so we can work together toward solutions to our complex problems.
A study by Michael S. Levendusky and Dominik A. Stecula, published in 2021, found that partisan rancor decreased significantly when participants had a one-on-one conversation about issues with someone who held opposing views. That reduction in distrust persisted over time after the conversation. If we ever needed a reduction in distrust among our neighbors, it is now.
This fall, make a plan to engage deeply with your neighbors about local issues, whether in preparation for the election or simply to discuss local concerns and needs. With time and experience, everyone can strengthen their civic skill of listening and sharing without trying to prove a point. Take advantage of this opportunity to improve your community’s ability to collaborate to solve problems and increase the quality of our civic discourse.
Catherine Eslinger is a resident of Vineyard.