The idea is to help each person to improve their character. Very nice.

They will do this by learning exactly what their friends really think of them, thus identifying their weak areas. WHAT???

Here’s how it works. Everyone gets paper and then the “victim” (that is what the magazine calls them and I think it’s an excellent word choice) is sent out of the room. When the friend is safely gone, (and I think they would have to go to another house altogether, because who could resist listening in on the conversation?)

One person reads out a character trait: Truth. “Is his word to be relied on? Or is there a general impression that it is flimsy, that he exaggerates, or that if confronted with an emergency he would even descend to a lie?” This is openly discussed and then everyone submits a vote on a scale of 1 to 10, which is averaged out.

Next up is Sincerity and the process repeats through Judgement, Self-Control, Courage, Stamina (meaning perseverance), Energy, Education, Mental Capacity, Justness, Tact, All-around ability-efficiency, Executive Power, Regard for neighbor’s rights, Kindliness, Egoism, Self-reliance, Ability to avail oneself of the wisdom of others, Overconfidence, Good Looks, Companionable Qualities, Good Manners, Good Taste in Dress, Charm of manner-attractiveness-personal magnetism and Cheerfulness.

Meanwhile, the victim has got the same list and is ranking themselves as well. Heavens! Just reading the list makes me curl into a ball of insecurities. But, if nothing else, I am a reasonably kind person. I think. At least a seven. Right?

At last, the victim is recalled into the room and has the pleasure of hearing all of his scores along with any comments that are deemed to be “beneficial.”

I can just imagine being the victim. How will I feel when my friends rank me as only a three on kindliness? What have I ever done to them??!! Once the devastation wears off, I bet I wouldn’t feel very kind.

But wait! We’re not done yet! As the victim hears the verdicts, everyone is watching them closely to see if they take all of this with Good Humor. This is the last virtue and counts for 30 points. So, no bursting into tears and running out of the room. 

I wonder how long it would take to work through even one person? I’m all for honesty and self-awareness, but this is brutal. Luckily, for the men at least, there is a Sanitarium advertised in the back of the magazine in case they have a nervous breakdown after this activity. The women, I guess, can retreat into hysterics which can easily be cured by any number of the advertised pills.

The author claims that there is a “famous community,” not specifying any name or location, that is based on this game. In that version the person stays in the room and gets to hear the frank discussion on every aspect of their character and personal shortcomings. If the person lacks the, “self-control sufficient to hear these criticisms patiently and profit by them, they are quietly eliminated from the community.” That’s unnerving to say the least. I’d love to hear some statistics on that community. Specifically, the homicide rate. 

Even without the benefit of this game. I hope I am evolving into a better version of myself as the years go by. But I think I’ll continue the effort privately in my own slow and clumsy way. And since I have no hope of a good score in the “self-control” category, I’ll celebrate my birthday with an extra piece of chocolate cake, while my friends and family keep their opinions to themselves, thanks.

Anneli Byrd is an academic adviser in Weber State University’s General Studies and Exploratory advising.