2022 is ending and it’s bringing changes for several people I know. After long years of working, it’s retirement time for them. A few of them I’ve known for a long time. They’re my age and have decided that it’s time to “hang it up.”

I’m old enough to retire, but for the time being; I’m continuing to work. I don’t have any real passionate hobbies that make me want to quit working…yet. I’m keeping alert for hobbies or activities that would motivate me to quite working.

There’s always the normal reading, hiking, biking, golfing, fishing, gardening, genealogy, etc. I don’t think that macrane’, knitting, croqueting, quilting, soap carving, creating fairy goblin houses, or toy voyaging will become my main retirement hobby. But, I could be wrong. (Those last two hobbies on that list are real things. Look them up, if you want.)

It is nice now to think that I probably qualify for every senior citizen discount available in the world. I’ve been able to eat from the “For our guests 55 and older” menu at Denny’s for many years now. In fact I used to order from that part of the menu before I reached the required age, but I always asked permission and was never denied.

I was tempted to be a rule breaker and order without asking, but I felt somehow that I break enough other rules that I should have some honesty, if not dignity, when it came to my advance into the realm of geriatrics.

The servers usually would say, “Feel free to order off that menu if you want.” I would wonder out loud if it was being implied that I looked old enough for that menu. They were always wise enough to tell me that I didn’t look old enough to be a “senior.” (Smart servers know how to protect and boost their tips.)

Nobody questions that I’m a senior citizen now. I don’t like that. I wish someone would “card” me when I mention the discount. And that’s another thing. I want to ask for the discount, not have it automatically given to me.

My dad used to say, “Retirement is a young man’s dream and an old man’s nightmare.” I’m not sure whether my dad knew what to do with himself when he got older.

Everyone expected him to retire and have some fun. The problems were that #1) he really wanted to keep working; and #2) he didn’t feel well enough to have that highly touted retirement “fun.”

Once again, I submit that we have the life cycle structured upside down. What we should be doing is paying a pension to young people and let the older set do the work. This reverse retirement would be up to age 45. Then a person would go to work for 30 years, or until mental and physical circumstances intervene.

This isn’t quite as nuts as it sounds at first. In this scenario, people would get to play while they are able and have the desire. The employment career could be started when the youthful zest for high spirited recreation has been tempered.

A mature individual could then put his mind to the tasks of the working world without as much distraction. On the job, while on work breaks, the seasoned worker could reminisce about all those good times from their past “pre-work retirement.”

I can hear me saying, as I pop an Advil, while rubbing Ben-Gay onto my arthritic knee, “Boy, oh boy, am I glad we hiked down into the Grand Canyon while I was a kid in my thirties. Back then I could still walk without feeling like the tin man from the “Wizard of Oz.” (Before Dorothy came along with the oil can.)

Then there is the money factor. This is upside down as well. It struck me as odd to see a mature couple drive into Zion National Park in a gigantic Winnebago motor home ahead of us and get the senior discount. We, on the other hand, pulled up to the entrance gate in a beat up AMC Gremlin with a baby and a pup-tent and paid full price.

I see the same thing at movies, restaurants and elsewhere. The older person wearing expensive clothing is adamant about getting the discount.

I know that saving money and getting discounts is a rewarding feeling. I know I love the feeling. It seems to be extra rewarding for retired people. My father in law used to be a man on a mission every few days. He would drive all over St. George from store to store until he found the lowest price on bananas.

By the way, I adore older, and, dare I say it, elderly people. I am one of them – pretty much. I just wish I could have ordered off a “struggling younger citizen” menu somewhere once before I graduated into the senior discount world. — Merrill

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