I thought it was a good thing to pray for in behalf of the congregation. The message to me was that we should all be more kind in our speech and try to communicate without being offensive. I think it’s a good prayer for all of us — especially with all the differences in opinions and political situations that we’re living with these days.

I saw the “prayer woman” later and mentioned to her that I appreciated that part of her prayer. She said, “Oh, that’s nothing special. Saying the right things and choosing the right words is a problem I have and I’m always praying about it.” Her response and the “don’t take me too seriously” way she said it made me laugh.

But the little episode also made me think. Words are so important in our lives. They make up the symbols of our communication one with another. Granted, there are many non-written and non-verbal aspects of communication, but words are the “meat and potatoes” of it.

Years ago, this was demonstrated when an American spy plane crew was held by China after a mid-air collision in international air space. The whole matter of being able to get the American personnel released seemed to revolve around choosing the right words.

The Chinese appeared to be immovable in their position that they receive an apology from the United States. Our government seemed to think that “expressing regret” was as far as we could go in how we worded things.

Some of us scratched our heads and wondered, “What in the world is the difference between an apology and expressing regret?” We were soon taught by the media that an apology goes beyond an expression of regret and simply saying “I’m sorry.” An apology contains the additional element of the acknowledgement of wrongdoing.

Maybe an example will help: “Honey, I regret that your cat is dead in the street.” — versus — “Honey, I’m sorry that your cat is dead in the street, and oh, by the way, umm — I apologize because I think I may know who ran over it.”

Our choice of words is sometimes highly symbolic and people receiving the message attach deep significance to what we say and write regardless of what we ourselves thought we meant. I know of grudges that have been kept alive for years based on someone’s unfortunate choice of words in attempting to express their feelings at a critical moment.

Some people interpret our words as the “whole truth and nothing but the truth.” They allow us no margin of error. We don’t get the chance to modify or explain what we really were attempting to communicate.

People are keenly aware of our messages. Sometimes compliments just don’t come out right. An old classic is: “You aren’t as dumb as everybody says you are.”

Choosing words carefully is important but it can be taken to the extreme. I sometimes suffer from that “disease.” Some people accuse me of talking too slowly and of being too careful of what I am saying. They encourage me with the command, “Just spit it out for Pete’s sake!” (“Pete” in that sentence is an interchangeable word with other words)

I guess I often live in accordance with a sign that some of you have seen before. It reads, “I’m multi-talented. I can do two things at once. I can talk and annoy you at the same time.”

I have a hope for Sanpete. Maybe it could even be classified as another prayer. I hope we’ll all choose our words wisely. I hope that we’ll be tolerant and kind in giving and receiving our communications. I hope we’ll give each other the benefit of the doubt. And, I hope that some of us will just be able to “spit it out.” — Merrill

P.S. A couple of quotes on the subject:

“Words Matter. Tone Matters. Choose carefully.” (Anonymous)

“Your words have the power to hurt, to heal, open minds, open hearts and change the world. Never forget the responsibility you have over the words you speak. (Steven Aitchison)