About a month ago, on the spur of the moment, my wife and I decided to drive to Provo to the BYU alumni football game. By “decided” I mean that I decided to go and my wife decided that she’d go with me.

I think that she may have been tempted to avoid the car trip and stay home. She could have rested her broken foot while watching NCIS on Netflix. But there may have been a little bit of FOMO in play.

If you’re not aware of what NCIS and FOMO are, let me tell you. NCIS is an acronym for “Naval Criminal Investigative Service.” It’s also the title of a TV show that for my wife importantly stars Mark Harmon. (For me, it importantly features all of the female cast members on the show.)

FOMO, if you don’t already know, is a slang acronym that is pretty common now and especially with the younger’ish crowd. It stands for “Fear Of Missing Out.”

My mother-in-law often had FOMO. It was most evident when the family would get together and some of us would stay up late at night yakking or playing games or watching a movie. She would always say something like this with a bit of a wail in her voice, “I really need to get to bed, but I’m afraid I’m going to miss something!”

This FOMO term is thrown around quite often these days and I can assure you that it’s a real thing. Much of FOMO revolves around social media. People see posts on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. and feel like everyone else is having more fun and living better than they are. Kids and adults feel stress and anxiety from FOMO.

Before we left for the football game, I called my daughter on the phone. She and her husband and their three daughters live in Utah County. I told her that we were going to the game and that if they didn’t have plans, they could join us. I told her the game was free and that I’d buy food and “Cougar Tails” (long skinny maple bar “doughnut” pastries.)

I told Sally that her mom was coming to the game and that I suspected that FOMO might be a factor. (It really would have been justified FOMO if Diane didn’t come and the granddaughters did come)

As it turned out, Sally had a previous commitment. (She belongs to two book clubs) The rest of the family had been so busy going from one thing to another all week long that they needed a break at home.

It was at that point in the conversation that I was informed of an acronym that I hadn’t learned yet. It’s JOMO. JOMO equals “Joy of Missing Out.” It’s the flip side of FOMO.

My daughter explained that she might be enjoying JOMO just a little too much in her life. She said that sometimes when a friend invites her to do something she’ll say, “I’m so glad you invited me and please don’t stop inviting me to do things with you. But this time, I have a book and a bath going on that creates a conflict.”

I believe that the truth of this FOMO concept is summed up simply and obviously in what movie actor, director, screenwriter Alan Arkin said: “No matter what you do or where you are, you’re going to be missing out on something.”

I admit to feeling FOMO – quite often. That may be why I wanted to go to the football game in the first place.

For one thing, I was afraid that former BYU linebacker, and owner of two Super Bowl rings, Kyle Van Noy would be there. I didn’t want to miss out on renewing my acquaintance with him and perhaps getting his autograph. (I played cards with him in Texas years ago. But that’s a story for another time.) And, by the way, Kyle wasn’t at the game. But, the game was entertaining and we didn’t miss out on a fun evening.

I guess the message here is that we just need to live life the best we can and not worry about all the other things that are beyond our control. We need to do what feels right for us without trying to keep up with the rest of the world.

We can’t do everything all the time. We pick and choose. We hopefully find joy somehow in each day regardless of what others are doing.

I’m trying improve in being happy for people who are doing fun things when it seems like I’m not doing fun things. I guess I need to change my perspective. I need to simply think of being stuck at home picking up dog poop and mowing the lawn as fun.

Here’s to finding the right balance between FOMO and JOMO. Enjoy life Sanpete! — Merrill

P.S. (I didn’t mention FOBO. That’s “Fear of Better Options.” Think about that one if you want to confuse life even more. Haha)

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